Terminal Lance #536 “Slim Pickin’s”
January 29, 2019
The Marine Corps infantry is a brutal place. It is kill or be killed, eat or be eaten, and pick the best MRE’s for your pack or eat the worst ones. Modern Marines have lucked out on their selection of food items available in those brown boxes, and anyone who’s spent any time enlisted in the past knows there’s always one item no one wants to eat. For my generation, it was the “Veggie & Cheese Omelet,” which neither resembled vegetables, cheese or an omelet.
It was a bland, yellow mass that tasted exactly like it looked: a slab of gelatin mixed with plastic of some kind. Before the ubiquitous breakfast item was the Country Captain’s Chicken (from what I’m told). This took the crown from the previous worst-in-show MRE known as the fingers of death, or officially known as the “Smokey Beef Frankfurters.” You don’t even need to see a photo of either of these to imagine how horrible they must have been, but I’m thankful that they were before my time.
As I mentioned before, the modern list of MRE’s is probably the most respectable it’s ever been, which I will paste right here for your entertainment:
01 – Chili with Beans
02 – Shredded Beef in Barbecue Sauce
03 – Chicken, Egg Noodles, and Vegetables, in Sauce
04 – Spaghetti with Beef and Sauce
05 – Chicken Chunks
06 – Beef Taco 07 – Beef Strips in a Savory Tomato Based Sauce
08 – Meatballs in Marinara Sauce
09 – Beef Stew
10 – Chili and Macaroni
11 – Vegetable Crumbles with Pasta in Taco Sauce
12 – Elbow Macaroni in Tomato Sauce 13 – Cheese Tortellini in Tomato Sauce
14 – Creamy Spinach Fettuccine
15 – Mexican Style Chicken Stew
16 – Chicken Burrito Bowl
17 – Maple Pork Sausage Patty
18 – Beef Ravioli in Meat Sauce 19 – Beef Patty, Grilled, Jalapeno Pepper Jack
20 – Hash Brown Potatoes with Bacon, Peppers and Onions
21 – Lemon Pepper Tuna
22 – Beef Goulash
23 – Pepperoni Pizza Slice
24 – Southwest Beef and Black Beans with Sauce
The Pepperoni Pizza Slice MRE is the most recent addition and arrived to much critical acclaim. You can read up more about that glorious event here. Out of this bunch, I’m not entirely sure which is the worst one because this is after my time and I haven’t had the opportunity to sample these delectable luncheons. Feel free to enlighten me via DM or email.
Terminal Lance is mostly back up and running, though I’m still putting the finishing touches on my latest project. I’ll announce more in the near future but stand by to stand by and be ready for an adventure…
