Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance “Happy Easter 2016!”

March 25, 2016

In all reality, it’s probably better that we don’t allow Marines to organize Easter egg hunts anyway.

For the children’s sake.

If you’re a boot in the Marine Corps and you’re reading this (and I know there’s a few of you), I have a tip for you…

Don’t answer the door when the duty knocks.

Just don’t do it. Why would you do it? You’re just going to end up on some working party. Keep your door locked, pretend you’re not there, pretend you’re masturbating, etc. Just do whatever it is you have to do to avoid that ominous knock from the man in chucks.

I assure you, he is the bearer of bad tidings.

Anyway, it’s Good Friday today, and if you’re anything like Garcia (Mexican) you’re probably going to church this weekend. I’m not particularly religious, but if I were Christian, I’d be Catholic (I’m Mexican). I don’t much like these new age churches that call themselves “Christian Centers” with rock bands and hip, cool preachers that can totally relate to you. I like my religion old school, with ancient and ominous hierarchy and a violent history of crusading. Plus, Catholic churches have the most rad gothic architecture, and bitches love gothic architecture.

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These flying buttresses will get her more wet than your high and tight will.

Anyway, it’s Friday and it’s a holiday weekend. I don’t have a lot for you, other than if it looks like shit, smells like shit, it probably is shit. Don’t be the one to put your dick in it.