Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance “Election Season 2016”

April 8, 2016

Terminal Lance has a policy on remaining apolitical, especially during these tumultuous election seasons. If you pay any attention to your Facebook feed, you probably noticed that your friends are fervently tribal lately, like a seasonal form of rabies that only comes around every 4 years. People are staunchly divided amongst party lines, with the only candidates to choose from being a socialist, bigoted billionaire, religious fanatic, and a corrupt politician.

The population of the United States is around 320 million individuals, and you’re telling me there was really no one else more qualified?

I think there is, and plenty of people agree. If there’s one person who can unify the country and bring balance to the force, it’s General James Mattis.

Of course, General Mattis has no intention of actually running, because he’s an intelligent and good, normal person with common sense. There’s a certain level of sociopathy and ego that I think is required in order to fully embrace the belief that oneself will and should be leader of the free world.

I don’t care what side you’re on and who you’re voting for, but we can all agree on one thing:

General Mattis would be a kick ass President.