It’s a commonly known fact that when every man exits military service, he will grow his beard out. It’s a badge of honor and rebellion! After years of being forced to scrape your face every morning, it becomes almost a nightly fantasy akin to threesomes with exotic women to walk the world freely with your beard at length.

Unless you’re a Spaniard like me and you grow more hair on your chest than you do your face. Thanks, dad.

I’m just assuming that women do the same thing. Probably.

After all, women are allowed in the infantry now, and it’s looking like women will soon be required to register for the draft. I have no choice but to assume that the hair between their legs has attained similar equality to men, post-EAS.

If you don’t know what EAS means, you’re probably new around here, but it simply means “End of Active Service,” otherwise known as the day you get the fuck out of the Marine Corps.

Sorry of the late update, there’s a ton of stuff going on behind the scenes in Terminal Lance land, and it’s been an exhausting week with the book release on Monday. The book has been a huge success, selling out in barely over a day.

If you missed your chance to get The White Donkey, I have some good news for you on Monday… Stay tuned and have a good weekend.