Author: Maximilian

I’m sure this comic will be misinterpreted by some, but it’s actually more of a jab at the infantry than the Wing. For whatever reason, Grunts have a hard time comprehending (or caring about) any MOS that doesn’t begin with “03”. Whenever grunts find themselves in the odd position of being introduced or talking to a POG, as soon as they begin describing their MOS the grunt will revert to what I call “Grunt Mode”. Grunt Mode is a complete inability to give a shit about anything that doesn’t involve someone getting shot or blowing something up.

It’s not that grunts are stupid. Many, including myself, have very high test scores across the board and generally are just as capable as anyone else in this regard. Culturally, though, the average grunt is very separated from the POG world. In the grunt world, every MOS begins with “03”, and if you meet someone that doesn’t have this moniker, interest suddenly flies out the window and dies. It’s a strange paradigm, because some POG MOS’s are actually pretty cool and interesting; but good luck getting the average grunt to care about it.

Also, special thanks to Aaron for helping me out with the MOS “6074”.

I’m just going to be blunt: MCI’s are stupid. (Marine Corps Institution courses, commonly referred to as “MCI’s”)

Well, perhaps not so much the MCI’s as much as the system in place that says doing them increases your cutting score. No… wait… the MCI’s are stupid too.

For those of you unfamiliar with MCI’s, they’re red course booklets that every Marine has to pretend to do if they want to pick up Corporal. No one cares about them, no one takes them seriously, and they do nothing for you outside of boosting your score. They are the same kind of ancient relic of an idea like the Commandant’s Reading List and high and tight haircuts. Doing them looks good on paper, and little else. It wouldn’t be a problem if they hadn’t been inducted into the cutting score system, but since they are, you very literally can’t attain the next rank without doing them.

MCI’s are just one of those things about the Corps that needs to go away. The entire idea of it is outdated and silly. Corporal Belt-Buckle’s dumb ass can solve his own fucking problems. Marines rarely even actually read the damned things and half the Corps cheats on them anyway. “Spelling for Marines” has never improved a Marine’s spelling, “Personal Financial Management” doesn’t stop Marines from blowing their combat pay on a Dodge Charger and marrying a stripper, and “Math for Marines” just doesn’t need to exist.

I would go into how they could be replaced with more updated, modern solutions; but honestly they don’t even need to be here at all.

Okay, so maybe the strip is a little extreme… But then again, it is a cartoon.

If there’s one thing I don’t miss about morning PT, it’s the dreadfully foul sound of a Marine expelling the previous night’s binge of pizza and beer. It happens all the time, whether the poor Marine is out of shape or simply hung over. My favorite part about this event (and it is an event) is the reaction of the Marines around them.

Never will you find the sympathetic comfort of a friend, patting you on the back and offering to clean you up. If you find yourself spewing the contents of your internal organs onto the concrete, you are undoubtedly going to be met with congratulatory cheering and laughter. “GET SOME!” is one that is best and commonly used when running past a Marine that is speaking dinosaur. The simple fact is, no one really cares, and for the most part it’s pretty entertaining to watch your friends suffer a little. It is, ultimately, out of love.

As for this strip, I really wanted to do another one without dialog. I find that kind of humor to be the most interesting, as dialog is often a crutch for the writer without skill. I also just thought it would be fun to play with the comic format for this one; probably due to my recent involvement in a graphic novel course at my school, as it’s gotten me thinking a little more deeply about the conventions of comics in general.

In other news, I saw The Grey this weekend and I loved it. I won’t bore you with a long review, as you can find a number of those on other websites. I will say that it is a beautifully done film that is only an exposition of “man versus nature” on the surface, and beneath you’ll find a film that delves much deeper into themes of manhood and death itself. It was probably the most satisfying film I’ve seen in a while, but it may just be because the last one I saw was Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, which looked really cool in trailer-form. Unfortunately, it was actually about as cool as Gary Oldman’s balls dangling above your face for 3 hours. To be honest, I may have preferred that–at least Gary Oldman’s balls would’ve been mildly entertaining.

Lastly, buy my book. No balls.

If there’s one thing that can be said about the experience that is joining the Marines, it’s that your friends back home won’t understand a damn bit of it. For every life-altering experience you may have, good and bad, your friends back home will largely be the same way they were when you left them. Your friends will be doing the same things–going to school, not going to school, working, etc., while you’ll be barraged with culture shock and do things that none of them will probably ever have to worry about.

You’ll meet new people, see new things–new worlds even; and they won’t even begin to understand it. Going home will never be the same again, and being home for too long finds you in the precarious position of wishing you were gone again. The very idea of home becomes a distant memory, because it’s never the same as it was. It’s not that home has changed, in fact it’s remained largely the same. Sure, maybe some new stores or restaurants popped up while you were gone, but it’s hardly any different.

What’s really changed is you… and you’ll never be the same again. But hey, that’s okay. Regular people live regular lives, and you’ve lived anything but. What’s really important is that you try your best not to alienate everyone at home, and if you need help with it, don’t be afraid to seek it. Your friends and family will never understand, but they can try if you give them a chance.

I couldn’t help but notice, recently, when I turned on the news and found that some desk-jockey was once again telling me how someone killed some people. Except, it wasn’t just someone, it was an “Ex-Marine Iraq Veteran”, because that’s obviously really important to know right? If you didn’t know that, how would you protect yourself from the other ruthless war-machine kill-monsters that obviously are roaming the streets, juiced up on Rip-Its and PTSD?

Luckily, you don’t have to!

For every one asshole veteran that the news tells you killed someone, there’s about a million other veterans that go about their daily lives without killing anyone or anything. We all know that the news likes to focus on the negative, but the unfortunate consequence of this labeling is that it simply goes to enforce the stereotypes that undereducated civilians may have on the subject. You don’t see the news labeling races or other peoples ex-jobs every time they commit a crime, because it doesn’t matter. Being a veteran, even a war-veteran, could have absolutely nothing to do with violent behavior. It’s very possible that this person was just a giant dick-head.

In other news, I think last week’s 0352 comic upset about half the audience. The other half was like, “it’s true”. Can’t please em all right?

There’s kind of an unspoken rule amongst the regular line-company grunts that we all just… kind of hate 0352’s. Well, coming from an 0351 Assaultman, we may feel a little more strongly about it than the rest, but most people either forget that 0352’s exist or just plain don’t like them.

Why?! Why would the brotherhood of the infantry shun one of its members?! I’m generally met with confusion when I tell this to POG’s or civilians. Understandably so, many in the infantry don’t even really understand it–they just know that they would rather not be around them. A big part of this is their cutting scores, which are traditionally laughably low. Contrast this to other 03 MOS’ like Scout Sniper and Recon, which also hold lower cutting scores and aren’t despised in any way. The reason for this is that Scout Sniper and Recon are considered respectable in the sense that it takes extra effort and you have to be an exceptional grunt just to be there in the first place. There’s a mutual understanding that they should be Corporals and Sergeants and no one needs to say anything about it.

I think what gets a lot of other grunts is the fact that the TOW itself is a less-than traditional weapon; and as cool as the Javelin may be in videogames, odds are it isn’t something you’ll ever see fired in real life. This makes the whole MOS just seem kind of pointless and strange to most. As well, like every battalion, there’s always going to be that angry competitive aspect between the line-companies and Weapons Company.

Of course, in all reality they really aren’t any different than anyone else. Like myself, most 0352’s just get turned into machine-gunners overseas any way and become a mounted platoon like so many other grunts of all MOS’s. With that said, it will never seem right that some kid who just got to the fleet can outrank an 0351 that’s been in for years simply because of cutting score. This is of course the result of the ever-broken cutting score system itself, but is easily projected onto those damn 0352’s that inhabit your battalion’s Weapons Co.

In other news, school started this week! Balls deep, my friends. Balls deep.

It’s a new year and we all know what that means: Resolutions! Wait, no… taxes.

Yes, it’s that time again and there’s nothing you can do about it. Whatever “business expenses” you choose to write off is entirely between you and whoever ends up filing it; however I would recommend not trying to write off your alcohol. Ask Abe, it doesn’t work.

For the record, the on-base tax folks actually do a pretty great job of filing and getting everything prepared for you. My first time as an active duty Marine, I went to H&R Block because I assumed the voluntary tax-people would be… well… military-grade. Well, H&R Block did a good job, nothing went wrong anyway. However, it cost a substantial amount of money just for a federal and one state return. The next year, I opted to do it on base. I was on leave in Los Angeles at the time actually, so my wife and I drove all the way down to Camp Pendleton just to get it done. This was a great idea, it turned out, because we got a good return and the guys on base are much more familiar with military circumstances than a civilian office.

Anyway, I don’t really have any witty commentary for this, just don’t forget to get your taxes done. As well, give the guys on base a shot. Yes, they’re POG’s, but they do a great job.

On the subject of alcohol, I think it’s very true that many that enlist end up becoming alcoholics. I think this is because of a lot of things such as stress, peer pressure, depression, etc. The Marine Corps itself, and the man’s club that the infantry is, really encourages the consumption of vast amounts of alcohol. What is “Warrior’s Night”, after all, but an excuse for 18 year olds to try and get shit-faced off of two beers (or more if they’re sneaky enough)?

If you’ve ever been in the infantry and ever been to the barracks on a Friday night, you’ll know definitely understand what I mean when I say that drinking is encouraged.

But hell, if you’re going to war anyway, you may as well drink up while you can.

Well it happened again, folks. It was only a matter of time before someone outdid the efforts of LCpl. Motari with his infamous puppy-toss video. I’m sure you’re all aware of the recent video that surfaced online of the Marines in Afghanistan that are peeing on (what we assume anyway) a few dead Taliban combatants. It’s been all over the news, I actually found out about it last night watching the local Bay Area news on TV.

You can view the video here. (It’s graphic, FYI)

My initial reaction to the video was something along the lines of, “What? How stupid do you have to be to film something like this and put it up online?” Many people are reeling in disgust, the very idea that someone could do such a thing to another human being is outrageous to most Americans. But then again, most Americans have never stepped foot in a combat zone, let alone killed anyone.

My question for the average person then is what is the line? The powers of the United States government have given Marines not only a license, but a mission to kill the enemy overseas in brutal combat. You can’t simultaneously praise the legal killing of other human beings and then be angered when you see the reality of it. When it’s all said and done, what difference does it actually make? The Marine Corps isn’t upset that these Marines relieved themselves on a dead enemy, they’re upset they got caught.

I guess I look at it the same way I look at why I don’t give a shit about eating free-range chickens and grass-fed cows. These animals are being raised to be slaughtered and eaten, regardless of how good or bad their lives are. In the end, does it really make you feel better if the animal had a good life and then found its way onto your plate?

If there is a line, it is a line of ethereal and subjective principle, not fact.

I’m not saying it’s in any way right, or that I would have done it myself; but to condemn these Marines for this is somewhat of a moot point considering the reality of it.

The heated discussions that take place over the most asinine things in the Marine world can become very serious business. A common pass time of any Marine is to get into an argument with another Marine. We’ll debate about basically anything, from whether or not to call soda “pop” to Lindsay Lohan’s breasts–everything Marines argue about has the potential to become a real debate, and usually far more interesting than any political debate.

Usually these things happen when in the field or just on standby days, there’s always something to talk about. What drives this is the boredom of predicament that Marines tend to find themselves in on a daily basis. You’re surrounded by the same people every day, all the time, and all there is to do is talk. The kind of people that join the Marine Corps also tend to be the kind of people that will stick to their guns to the bitter end in an argument, regardless of how meaningless the battle may actually be. If you ever get a chance to witness one of these debates take place, grab some popcorn and enjoy the show, because odds are it will go on until it ends in a violent rage.

I think, in my section at least, there were two arguments that were held above all others:

“Soda” Vs. “Pop”

Captain America Vs. Wolverine

My guns? Soda and Captain America–every time.

I was looking through my old strips and I realized I never did any more of the “Difference” series of comics, despite the fact that I had planned on turning it into a running theme. The differences between POG’s and Grunts is truly night and day, making it a vast wealth of creative material.

How POG’s and Grunts view each other is of course equally wrong. Grunts–contrary to popular belief–are not dumb. POG’s, contrary to the belief amongst most Grunts, aren’t all women and nerds that get promoted like the wind (among other things) blows. A lot of it is semantics, but there is a lot of pride on the Grunt side simply for being. A common argument for POG’s is that, clearly, Grunts are only Grunts because they didn’t have the GT score to be anything else. This is stupid of course, when yours truly is a notably well-known exception to this idea. This also implies that the Grunt MOS fields aren’t a choice, that Grunts just don’t know any better. This is also incorrect, as it is the primary source of pride amongst the ranks of the 0300’s.

Why is choice a source of pride? Another common argument for POG’s is the idea of “I could do their job, but they couldn’t do mine”. Even if this were true (pro-tip: it’s not), it doesn’t change the fact that they didn’t. That’s where the pride comes from, the cockiness of the Grunt, knowing that they made the choice to be the ones on the ground.

The idea is essentially this: Sure, you could do this job, anyone could walk around and get shot at… but you didn’t.

Contrast this to the misconceptions of the infantry regarding POG’s. For starters, many POG cutting scores are actually quite high. Want to know the highest? It’s actually not an infantry MOS. It’s currently the MOS 6483 (Aircraft Electronic Countermeasures System Tech), with a Corporal cutting score of 1864. So where does the perception that POG’s have low cutting scores come from? Ultimately it’s because, on average, the regular line-company grunts (0311, 0331, 0341 and 0351) have laughably high cutting scores almost all the time. The 6483 is just one MOS out of many, and unfortunately for the sake of perception, the POG’s that most Grunts are exposed to on a daily basis tend to pick up with much lower scores than them.

As well, as chauvinist as it may be, Grunts tend to identify POG’s with women as a whole. Grunt life is a man’s world–seriously, it’s a fucking sausage-fest. This environment ultimately breeds sexism, and only one side of the fence has women in it. I’ve mentioned before that I’m far too apathetic to really offer my opinion on the subject, but strictly as an observation: many of the men in the infantry see the presence of women as being a weakness. I’ve never really cared too much for that mindset, but boys will be boys.

Anyway, if I may change the subject: yesterday was Terminal Lance’s 2 year anniversary!

January 5th, 2010 was when the site officially went live and the first comic was posted. Who would have thought that 170 comics, 60 million hits, 30 thousand Facebook fans, a book, a comic in the Marine Corps Times and two years later I’d still be sitting here typing my nonsense twice a week?

I appreciate all of the support my awesome fans have given me over the years. I know I say it all the time, but even if I don’t respond to your email immediately I do read everything I receive. I get mail every day from fans all over the country, old and young, telling me to keep it up. How can I stop when people are so supportive of my endeavors?

Thank you all for keeping me afloat, a comic is nothing without fans to read it.

PS:

Last note, Hooters is doing a thing on January 12th (Thursday). It’s Military appreciation day or some bullshit–whatever it is, you get a free meal if you go to Hooters. Hot women and free food? It’s like they know me…

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @TLCplMax, as well as my more recent addition to Tumblr.