Terminal Lance

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The Lance Corporal Underground

October 19, 2016

Don’t tell anyone this, but I heard Stephens and Nash told everyone they were getting married for the BAH and to move out of the barracks… But they’re actually gay and in love.

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I got a buddy in Quantico that told me the Commandant is actually a computer animated hologram like Tupac.

 


I heard that President Obama wanted to reenlist for another 4 years, but the cutting score was too high.

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I heard your name came up in the staff meeting yesterday. I dunno, man. Probably nothing to worry about.

 


I heard the armory actually has a ton of firing pins laying around.

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Samson told me he slept with one of the chow hall ladies, and now he gets double dessert every day.

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Doc is gay.


My buddy at IPAC told me that we already have a woman in our platoon. It’s Browns, she just gets a medium-reg and uses a she-wee so no one notices.

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I read in the Marine Corps Times that we’re getting a new rifle any day now.

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Chuck over at the company office told me Gunny switched from coffee spiked with Bailey’s to just Bailey’s now.

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