Author: Maximilian

This is really more of a jab at how dumb Marines are than it is a jab at the Navy. Lets be honest here, any Marine who says they’ve never accidentally saluted a sailor is lying, or a boot. It happens. Hell, I’ve accidentally saluted other enlisted Marines with worn out rank. Even further, Marines have accidentally saluted me! It happens.

In a world where you’re literally on edge–two-four-seven–for the likes of those shiny collars; on standby for the moment you need to spring that trusty knife-hand forward of your cover’s brim and offer some half-assed greeting to satisfy some butterbar’s ego–it’s hard to not be paranoid and a little trigger happy about it. Now, it doesn’t happen often, but the Navy uniforms don’t help.

Seriously–shiny rank? On a Marine base? You’re just asking for trouble.

In site news. The fundraiser is still going on! So far you, the readers of Terminal Lance, have raised over $2,000! I must say I am quite impressed. If we keep this up I will try my best to put up some extra stuff for you! This week is kind of crazy for me being finals week at my school, but I will do my best on the weekend at least to get some bonus content up for you all. The fundraiser itself is going great, sans a couple of snags on the PayPal side, but those are being worked out as we speak.

The Donation box accepts PayPal accounts as well as credit cards, without having to sign up for an account. I am not handling any physical money or checks for security reasons–I don’t want any part of that stuff. The transfer to Toys for Tots on December 20th will be directly to their own PayPal account, so as to make sure there is nothing in between your money and Toys for Tots.

But anyway, we’re doing fantastic! Keep it up!

Oh and before I forget, make sure you check out the Marine Corps Times newspaper for a special print edition of Terminal Lance! That’s right, Terminal Lance is officially legit. 8)

Before I talk about the strip, I’d like to take a moment to talk to you about our Toys for Tots donation drive.

This video was created with the sole purpose of raising funds for Toys for Tots. If you do not trust me with your money, I fully encourage you to donate to Toys for Tots directly at their website here: http://www.toysfortots.org/

Note: I’m working on a way to get the current fundraiser amount visible to all of you.

You can donate on the right side of the page, you will see donation options in different denominations. I’m only accepting PayPal donations so that I can easily transfer the money to Toys for Tots come December 20th.

As I explained in the video, I sent an email out to a representative of Toys for Tots about coordinating a fundraiser. He told me that while he holds no qualms about the comic, he didn’t want Toys for Tots affiliated with us due to its crass nature. I understand, however, Terminal Lance gets thousands of readers every day, almost all of them from the military. Now, I’m closing the donations on December 20th because I’m not 100% sure how they’ll want to put the money to use–but I wanted to give them some time to buy toys if that’s what they plan to do with it.

The beginning of the video is kind of brash, but it’s meant to be funny and to encourage you to want to donate–even if for some reason you hate children, you should want to prove a point.

There was a lot more to this video, and it was trimmed down considerably to remain on point. If we raise a formidable amount of money for Toys for Tots come Dec. 20th, I will upload the outtakes/bloopers reel for all of you to see as a treat.

So bottom line, don’t take the video as anything other than what it is: my effort to encourage you all to donate in support of Toys for Tots. Remember, 100% of all the donations made will go directly to Toys for Tots on December 20th, 2010. In addition to the donation drive, I will see what can be done this week to raise more money for them. Perhaps an exclusive strip to encourage you to donate? I may possibly sell some prints this week as well, with the proceeds going to Toys for Tots. Stay tuned and I’ll keep you all updated.

As for the strip, well, I always thought the chow hall guys’ golden rank was slightly absurd. I always wondered what it would be like to wear them, like some kind of Legend of Zelda abode. I’m sure you all remember the gold cartridges of yore, blowing in them to get them to play in your old, dirty NES.

Oh and for those of you living under a rock, Terminal Lance has officially joined up with the Marine Corps Times starting next week. Look forward to exclusive content each week in the Marine Corps Times!

Check out their official blog post here!

And lastly, but certainly not least, I’d like to give a special thanks to Adan Pulido, an 0311 OIF/OEF veteran-turned-film-major at SF State for helping me with this video, in just about every aspect.

Ah the dress blues, the golden pillar of Marine Corps recruiting. Who can resist that snazzy black and gold blouse with those Eagle, Globe and Anchors flanking your collar? Of all of the uniforms in the military, the Marine Corps dress blues remain the highest fashion, with other branches slowly trying to encroach upon the success of our uniform. However, no matter how similar the other branches will try to get, it is the EGA’s on the collar that make the dress blues a success amongst women (and 1 in 10 men?) alike. And, as far as I know, the EGA will always remain exclusive to the Marine Corps. This isn’t a moto-thing, but stylistically, those two golden EGA’s on the collar truly complete the outfit, bringing it from just another jacket to the legendary status it holds.

As for recruiting commercials, maybe they should take me on as a writer for them? With all due respect to the silent drill team, they don’t represent the average grunt. Half of the grunts of my generation didn’t even own dress blues, simply because they weren’t issued to us. If recruiting commercials really wanted to show people what the Marine Corps is like, they’d set free a video camera to the local infantry barracks on a weekend. The horrific events inevitably caught on camera would serve as a great device to entice the people they want, and deter those they don’t.

In site news:

Got some charity stuff up my sleeve… stand by for that.

While I enjoy a Jack and Coke as much as anyone else, the alcohol problem in the military is an unfortunate truth of the world. Alcohol abuse in the Marines is an especially noticeable problem, and unfortunately it’s not just limited to Saturday nights in the barracks. Too often the addiction to alcohol is carried home by the married Marines. There is nothing wrong with drinking in moderation, but moderation isn’t something commonly practiced by the average Marine in just about any context.

Typically, battalion ordered SACO and counseling is just a check in the box. Very rarely do these programs truly absolve the Marine from his demons, often driven by PTSD and depression. The Marine (or person in general) has to want to change in order to actually change. These programs are of good intention, but more often than not end up with just another Lance pissed off at the Marine Corps. It probably doesn’t help that the culture of the Marines itself is one of alcoholic encouragement–Marines coming fresh from high school, away from home with other like-minded individuals who think alcohol is just so super cool. Some grow out of it, but definitely not all.

Anyway, like I said, I enjoy a drink as much as anyone else. However: moderation is key.

In site news, look forward to some big announcements–though not all of them will be on the site…

Otherwise, have a great weekend. All seriousness aside, have a drink for me eh?

The Jack Shack is a sort of magical place; a place where a Marine can be alone… for a time. The battle for an orgasm versus the searing Iraqi and Afghani sun is one waged across many years of conflict. An epic struggle between Marine and nature, between man and the elements.

The Jack Shack takes many forms, from sectioned off bottom racks to porta-shitters, corners of rooms and so-forth. The Jack Shack is a kind of spiritual exercise in stamina and perseverance. Those who make it out of the gauntlet of heat and sweat will find themselves victorious, emerging from the steaming room of spilt seed, interior walls laden with phallic symbols, decorated with unit names and the names of wives and girlfriends of lore. There is no greater feeling than to exit that small blue room, breathing the fresh cool air of victory.

Anyway, I could keep going on about the Jack Shack, but I’d rather not. As for the financial statistics, I will say, they are rough numbers–please don’t take them to be fact.

Also, look forward to something unique in the near future…

I’ll see you all Friday.

Happy Thanksgiving, Marines.

Remember, having Thanksgiving in the chow hall with your friends is better than sitting around, moping about how you’re not at home.

This is something I relate more to from my 2009 deployment to Camp Cupcake: al Asad. You know those guys that stay back at the main installations and you can swear they get fatter each time you see them? That is the result of three full, daily servings of that DFAC magic. For the most part, your average grunt will tend to lose weight, either from a lack of decent food or just a refusal to eat MRE’s. However, back in the rear–those larger bases with which we bestow our many beloved DFAC’s, Green Beans Coffee and even Cinnabon–you will continually find Marines struggling to maintain their weight.

Even for Fobbits, POG’s and grunts stuck in the rear, there are some easy solutions to this. For one, instead of gorging yourself on the fast chow line–try the salad bar? Large installations usually have superb gym facilities as well. Take advantage of it.

I think we’re all familiar with this Marine Corps meme by this point:

Lets keep it that way, yeah?

In site news, there were some server issues today–however they have been resolved. My new host didn’t quite realize how popular Terminal Lance was, and wasn’t prepared for the onslaught. It has since been addressed and fixed, so no worries there. The prints sold quickly, I will be shipping the last of the paid for strips tomorrow. I apologize for the delay, this is a very hectic time of year of course. I look forward to selling a couple more sets of prints for the holidays.

Oh, and before I forget, there is a free shipping sale going on in the Terminal Lance store this week. From Wednesday, Nov. 24th to Sunday, Nov 28th, enter the coupon code: SHIP2010 and you will receive free shipping on all orders $35 or more. Remember, it doesn’t start until Wednesday Nov 24th, and lasts until Sunday Nov 28th. A perfect time to order that sweet Terminal Lance Hoodie, or that Terminal Lance skivvy shirt you’ve been eyeing.

This is not meant to be a criticism of Colors itself, but rather the reaction from the average Lance Corporal. I fully understand the purpose of Colors, and I respect it like anyone else. That said, I would be lying if I said I’ve never ducked into a building or avoided going outside when I realized Colors was playing. All of us have, don’t lie to me and tell me you haven’t. This is obviously an exaggeration, but that should go without saying–being that this is a webcomic.

A slightly late update today, but school’s got me by the balls.

Edit: The prints are sold out.

With this I bid you all a good weekend. Next week is Thanksgiving, which means 96’s for all! I actually lucked out with my classes and am getting a… 120? Yeah, a 120. In any case, I’ll see you next week! Stay updated on my everyday randomness with the Forum as well as my Twitter and the Terminal Lance Facebook Fan Page. We’re over 15,000 fans on Facebook! Keep spreading the word, because it needs to be spread.

According to Urban Dictionary, this is why the anonymous male figure fucking your wife and/or girlfriend is named “Jody”:

In the Marines, a “Jody” is a generalized term meaning: any man who stays home while everyone else goes to war. He gets to enjoy all the things the Marines are missing, more specifically the Marine’s girlfriend back at home while the Marine is away on active duty. The reason that they’re called Jody specifically dates back to black soldiers in WWII. They took a character from old blues songs named Joe the Grinder (or Joe D. Grinder) who would steal the ladies of inmates and soldiers, and clipped his name to Jody.

I personally have never actually heard the explanation for the knick-name. However, it is common knowledge: Jody is at home banging your wife right now. That’s right, Jody. There’s nothing you can do about Jody; he is your girlfriend’s friend at work–the funny one, he’s your soon-to-be-ex-best friend, he’s the guy at the bar that doesn’t care that she’s taken. Jody is all around you, and he is thus a proper Marine Corps Myth and Legend to behold.

In site news, I will be putting up a new set of prints for sale this week–so stand by for that and pay attention to the Facebook fan page for announcements. Additionally, this weekend saw the transfer of Terminal Lance to a new server, so there may or may not have been a few hiccups along the way. Notably, the forum was down for a couple of hours, but thanks to Andy Potanin over at Twin Cities Tech, we hopefully have a much more reliable server.

I wanted to include this photo sent to me by Michael Neidlinger. It is a photo of a Lance Corporal Ramos holding a double rainbow in the palms of his hands. All the way… all the way…

Keep it real gents.

I wonder how many NJP’s would be reduced to a slap on the wrist, how many Marines would lose rank, if only a hug was offered to the SNCO that was so angry. I think sometimes, we all just need a hug. I once tried to give my old company 1st Sergeant a hug (now SgtMaj Chet Houston)–he took up a basic warrior stance and told me to get away. I insisted, but he wasn’t very keen on the idea. I think the magic of hugs is universal. The next time your SNCO is yelling at you, offer to give him a hug. If someone could get it on film, that would be even better, and I could put it up here.

Well yesterday was Veteran’s Day, as I’m sure you all know. I hope all of you went to Chili’s or something and got some delicious free food. As I mentioned on the Facebook Fan Page, I personally went to Chili’s in Union City last night and got some chicken club tacos. Free is the best price, making it all the more delicious. I saw two Marines out front when I walked in wearing chucks, something I don’t see often anymore. I thought about restaurant hopping, possibly hitting up Applebee’s or Texas Roadhouse afterward, but I was a little too full to be ordering multiple meals (we got a free desert at Chili’s too).

In site news, I will possibly be doing some server work this weekend, so expect a little down time here and there. Also, if you haven’t become a fan on Facebook, click on the link to the right and check it out. As well, my Twitter crowd, being much smaller, often gets bits of news that I don’t always mention on Facebook–so if you’re into Twitter, feel free to follow me @TLCplMax.