With the exception of the characters of Abe and Garcia, this is actually a true story. I remember my first patrol in 2007, fresh out of CAX and ready to spot anything on the road that was worth spotting. Unfortunately, what they don’t tell you is that there’s trash everywhere. There was no organized trash cleanup going on amongst the Iraqi people when I was there; just leftover piss bottles, MRE bags and anything else the Iraqi’s didn’t want. Aside from trash, there were also craters and “suspicious” dirt marks lining every road.
Eventually the uncertain feeling of looming death goes away and with our daily outings into Zaidon it became clear what was supposed to be there and what wasn’t, but I would say that the first week or two were butt-clenchingly terrifying every time we went over a bump or drove next to something I hadn’t seen before.
There are some big things in loom for Terminal Lance. Notably, I will be at Wondercon in San Francisco April 1-3! Obviously there’s not a whole lot of Marines around the Bay Area, but those of you that may be around here I look forward to seeing. In conjunction with the Concord Vet Center, we’ll possibly be doing some giveaways or raffles or some shit. Either way, it’ll be awesome and I’ll be there–dressed as Captain America. Okay that last part isn’t true, but only because I’ll be representing Terminal Lance, not Marvel Comics.
There are other things in store, but nothing I can really talk about right now…
Obviously this is an exaggeration, but I do know Marines that have framed their promotion warrant multiples of the same rank. I personally never got busted down, I just never picked up because of cutting scores (well, while I was active anyway–I think it’s common knowledge now that I got promoted in the IRR). A Marine that’s been busted down doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a shit-bag; a lot of good guys get demoted for a variety of reasons–some notably worse than others. Point being, just because someone’s got a few Lance Corporal warrants on his wall doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy.
You’ll notice the panel layout here is decidedly different than usual. I’m finding myself feeling the need to expand my horizons a bit while in my “History of Illustration” class this semester. Seeing works of incredible guys like Winsor McCay and James Montgomery Flagg every day is making me feel a little self conscious about my own work. Obviously Terminal Lance (the webcomic at least) has never really been the pinnacle of my artistic endeavors, but it’s still my baby.
Last week I went on a rant about the infamous photo I added to Facebook. In fact, out of all of the things I said last week between underwater promotions and Water Dogs, the one thing that got people upset was the fact that I mentioned Glenn Beck in my post. Glenn-fucking-Beck. I was shocked, truly, that people were defending Glenn Beck. I honestly didn’t think anyone watched his show without a sense of irony. In my head it’s always gone something like this amongst his die-hard fans:
“Hey Glenn Beck is on,” says guy.
“Glenn Beck?! That guy’s fucking hilarious! He’s crazy as shit but it’s so much fun to watch, like an exorcism or something,” replies other guy.
I was told to keep my opinion to myself. Really? This entire website is my opinion. If you’re not interested in it, I suggest you read another Marine Corps humor comic/blog.
My opinion on Glenn Beck? Well, I enjoyed 1973’s The Exorcist because of the well thought-out direction and genuine horror. I’ve never enjoyed Glenn Beck because he doesn’t provide genuine horror, but rather subliminal cheap scare tactics (that is, of course, assuming you can call looping Nazi footage in every other episode subliminal or even vaguely subtle) to get ratings. He’s just another television hack, making oodles of money off of fear-mongering.
Left, right–who cares? I just try to watch good TV.
One last thing:
The always-impressive Combat Artist Michael Fay (CWO, retired) is always up to something worth noting. Most recently, he took a trip to the Hunter Holmes McGuire Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Richmond, Virginia and produced another amazing body of work that can be viewed here at the National Post website.
Mike also did a series of articles for the New York Times blog section the “Opinionator” and another NYT section called Frontlines.
Michael Fay is a member of the International Society of War Artists. Info about them can be found at their blog here.
You may also remember Michael Fay’s work in Terminal Lance, when I was in the middle of moving from Hawaii to Oregon. Mike has been a huge help to the success of Terminal Lance, behind the scenes, and continues to be!
I don’t think me and the 1171 Water Dog will ever get along properly. My only experience with one was at the range in Hawaii. My company got stuck sharing the range with HQBN that time, and I recall quite vividly my limited moments with the infamous Water Dog. He was snarky, cocky and very proud of the fact that his job was “way easier” than ours. I do remember him trying to pick up on some female Marine, to which I don’t believe he was successful. My experience was not but a few hours of sitting and shooting during qual week, but it was enough for me to embark on my everlasting vendetta.
As you may recall, this isn’t the first time I’ve brought them up. Or even the second. Something about hearing him say, “They call us WATER DOGS!” brought forth emotions only matched by the sound of a shrieking child in a theater, or the first time I watched Two Girls, One Cup. The feelings I have for the 1171 Water Technician will never be satiated through any regular discourse–and for you 1171’s reading, you have that one Marine at the range on that infamous day to thank.
On a side note, I’d like to apologize for the late update. I’ve mentioned before I’m a double-major at my school, as well as taking 18 credits this semester. Needless to say, I am very busy these days.
I’d like to also take a moment to talk about a photo I put up on the Facebook Fan Page that garnered quite a bit of attention. Now, I’d like to clarify that this photo was sent to me via email. It was already part of a long string of emails sent down a line of increasingly upset Staff NCO’s over the photo. Why were they upset? Beats me, I thought the photo was hilarious and awesome on many levels. It’s not ruining the Marine Corps, it’s someone who wanted to have their re-enlistment ceremony in the water. If you find yourself getting upset over this photo, I implore you to take a step back and remember that it doesn’t matter. Are Marines dying over it? No? Then who cares?
If I would have re-upped, I think my ceremony would’ve been under the water–in a shark cage. I would strap my warrant to the largest shark circling us in the chummed waters; and at the right moment the Officer in Charge would have to wrestle the shark with not but an MRE spoon and a wag-bag, completely naked. Upon killing the shark, he would take out the still-beating heart and present it to me along with the warrant. I would then take the heart above water and sprinkle it’s contents on the warrant, sealing it’s authenticity with the blood of a fresh kill.
All of it filmed and sent to Fox News so that Glenn Beck can prance in front of a chalk board and call me a socialist Nazi.
Anyway, the point being, no one cares. Or, correctly, no one should care.
One last note: I will be at Wondercon in San Francisco April 1-3rd, in conjunction with the Concord Vet Center. All the details are fuzzy right now, but I’ll have more to update when I know. We’re looking at getting some goodies to give out and of course I’ll be there to sign autographs!
I think the rape whistle bit might go over the heads of some of our POGier friends reading the strip. For those of you not in the know, often times even us grunts are issued a gear list before embarking on a field op. This doesn’t always happen, and is wholly dependent on the command, but when it does there is almost always a rape whistle, a giant clothespin, and bug repellent on it. It’s as if the CO was going on his first field op and was so insecure about all of the useless drivel he was bringing that he went and had the company clerk tell everyone to bring the same thing so he wouldn’t look lame.
Gear lists weren’t a practice for me during my first workup, as my CO of the time was a pretty hard-chargin’ guy. My second workup, however, wasn’t quite as liberal in terms of our ILBE’s. Instead, issuing out ridiculous lists, “Well you get paid this weekend, go out and get the items for next week,” was a fairly standard-issue sentiment from him. In my humble opinion, a gear list should be limited to what a Marine needs to conduct the training. Basically, make sure you bring your PPE, maybe some cleaning gear. Everything else should be up to the individual Marines to worry about–if they pack too light, oh-fucking-well.
Also, before I forget, I hope you all had a great Valentine’s Day! Hopefully not too many of you were stuck in the field for it. It’s happened to me before. I didn’t mind so much because my girlfriend at the time was off-island anyway, but there were married Marines in my platoon stuck out there–on base–in the “field”. I also spent a Valentine’s Day at beautiful 29 Palms one year during my second run at Mojave Viper. That, however, was largely unavoidable.
Everyone dreads the day that their peer picks up the coveted rank of Corporal before them. That ceremonious day of pins and bloodstripes is always a lamentable occasion, because you know the next day he’ll be placed in charge of all of you and will have majestically transformed into a giant bag of douche seemingly overnight. Yes, the new Corporal usually takes a few weeks to plateau to a normal level again, and once he does it’s not so bad. Those first few weeks though are rough–peers are turned against each other, bonds are broken, and suddenly that extra stripe is the difference between a friendly beer and a field day inspection.
I think all Marines have a love/hate relationship with Corpsman. Many of them are great guys, well trained and just as brave as the average Marine. But, like the wealth of variety you get with Marines, so too are many Corpsman not quite up to snuff. It is a commonly accepted stereotype that Corpsman offer nothing to Marines outside of Motrin and sock-advice. While obviously that’s an exaggeration, as is the comic, it remains to be true that Corpsman are not doctors. I won’t argue that they need to be, either, but many of them truly believe themselves to be on par with House MD.
If there’s one thing that’s more annoying than the Corpsman that thinks he’s a doctor, it’s the Corpsman that thinks he’s a Marine. Perhaps I’m the only one who experienced this phenomenon, but we literally had a Corpsman that thought he was an 0331. He wasn’t. In fact, I think he actually tried to replace all of his medical knowledge with M240 nomenclature, because he sure as balls didn’t know anything about medicine.
Bottom line, Corpsman can be great. They’re completely necessary and are a vital asset to any squad. That, however, doesn’t mean I can’t make fun of them.
Speaking of doctors, I recently took a trip to see mine. Strangely, I randomly happened to get the one doctor in the hospital that used to be the battalion surgeon for 2/7 (many years ago, not going to mention names). He’s a nice guy and the Marine Corps connection gives us something to joke about, but it’s almost like I can’t get away from it… Then again, I am the creator of a successful Marine Corps humor comic as well.
I’d like to take a moment to talk about the graphic novel. No, not any juicy bits you want to hear, but just some clarification. It is a fact that I am working on it–however, it is also fact that I am doing so at my leisure. At this stage, I am merely writing it and working on character designs and concepts. Please, do not expect anything for quite some time.
I will say this though: it will redefine the war story graphic novel. (If there is such a definition)
Gong Xi Fa Coi to you! If you haven’t noticed, many cultures around the world celebrated the Chinese New Year this week. I don’t personally follow it much, but my wife is Asian so I tend to hear about these things. I don’t really have a whole lot to say on this strip, other than the fact that Marines in general don’t really care about holidays of other cultures if it doesn’t directly concern them (e.g., a 96, or Ramadan in country). Regardless, I’m sure many of you may have celebrated it and I wish you the best. Perhaps those of you back stateside were able to go to a parade or something, perhaps not.
It’s passed 0200 and I’m pretty tired. 18 credits is pretty killer, but I still manage to do everything on time–including the strip.
The kinds of classes I’m doing? Well lets just say that this took me over three hours:
Have a great weekend, and forgive my poor spelling of foreign words.
You know exactly what I’m talking about. The Facebook poseur is the guy you see wearing the the brand new kevlar, the interceptor vest, the M16-A2 and improperly fitting gear. He’s the guy that’s never been anywhere, done anything worth mentioning, but lives out his Call of Duty pipe-dreams with the occasional range week where he actually gets to wear all that shiny gear he was issued at CIF (for whatever reason). He doesn’t lie about his Marine Corps experience, just feigns the truth through “badass” profile photos and vague status updates.
All of us, I’m sure, have posted one photo or another that depicts us in our uniforms. That’s not the point, however. The point is that boots may be obvious to the trained eye, but to the average civilian back home–they won’t know the difference. Body armor and weapons look cool on anyone! What they won’t realize is the difference between an M16-A2 or an A4 or M4; the difference between the interceptor vest and an MTV or modern plate carrier–hell, they most certainly won’t be able to tell whether or not there’s even sapi-plates in the damned things. It’s one thing to make your parents and friends proud, but don’t overdo it.
I know it’s super cool to take a photo of yourself the first time you put on that fresh new body armor–but please resist the urge to show it to anyone.
Well today is a good day indeed. It is today that we are marking the 100th official strip since my January 5th, 2010 release. Obviously, this isn’t including the strips you see in the Marine Corps Times–as those aren’t numbered. This is obviously meant to be seen with a sense of humor, as I get enough emails from SNCO’s and officers to know that Terminal Lance is appreciated across the board by all ranks. However, I imagine strips like TL #15 don’t sit well with the more motivated types.
Though I’m open to all aspects and facets of humor, Terminal Lance will remain what it was from the get-go: a funny comic strip based off of the life of an infantry (as in 03xx) Lance Corporal. I get emails all the time asking me to portray other fields and MOS’s. I’m not technically opposed to the idea, but I just don’t have the first-hand experience to really make anything funny. As I was an 0351, I am limited to my experiences as a grunt–which I’m fine with.
On this special occasion, I would like to take a moment to do something unheard of in the brief history of Terminal Lance. I’m going to introduce to you two characters you may have already noticed are recurring in strips.
As you all know, we have our main character–who has been referred to as “Lance Corporal” on many occasions as I wanted to keep him anonymous. However, as you may have read in the Marine Corps Times I have been at work on an actual Terminal Lance graphic novel. The graphic novel is a narrative storyline, with characters that have names and personalities of their own. Our main character?
Abe
Welcome Abe. His last name is notoriously difficult for his platoon and section members to pronounce, so they have taken to just referring to him by his first name–which he doesn’t mind, as it beats getting some crazy knick-name.
The other character I would like to introduce you to that has come up in a couple recent strips is LCPL Garcia.
LCPL Garcia
Garcia doesn’t quite have the scathing wit that Abe does, but lives his life on grounds of common sense. Abe and Garcia are largely inseparable during work hours, on field ops and deployment. (I realize these aren’t the best photos in the world, but expect to see better ones soon).
I don’t want to go into too much detail with the novel and story itself–but expect to find Abe and Garcia as the central characters.
Outside of this, I also have a short blooper video ready to watch from the charity drive last month. I’ll post it tomorrow, as my internet is too slow to cooperate with me right now.
Anyway, thank you all for making Terminal Lance what it is. Without the loyal support from Marines all over the planet, I would have just been another webcomic in the vast expanse of failed webcomics on the internet. As it stands, Terminal Lance is actually ranked (by Alexa) as being one of the top military webcomics in existence. (Not counting old cartoons like Doonesbury, etc). We see more traffic than Sempertoons and AF Blues (not that they aren’t great comics as well), and Terminal Lance has only been out for a year.
Have a good weekend and I’ll see you next week! Don’t forget to pick up a copy of the Marine Corps Times every week for new, exclusive Terminal Lance strips you won’t find here or anywhere else!
You all know this guy, he’s the one guy that’s just happy to be there. The guy that doesn’t mean his Oorah’s and Yut’s ironically, he’s the guy that will stay in and re-enlist until the stars and rockers on his collar are too large for him to carry on physically. You joined his Corps. He’s the guy that everyone else hates. If you had a dollar for every time you heard someone slander the idea of a penis within his oral vicinity you’d have enough money to pay your own GI Bill, and maybe a couple of your buddies.
On a side note, being a grunt in Hawaii was an absolute guarantee that you’d see rain. For those of you that don’t know, Hawaii is a tropical environment. While yes, it is sunny and nice 60% of the time, the other 40% is some of the most violent and fuckless rain you’ve ever seen. A quick fact: Hawaii gets some of the most rainfall per year out of anywhere in the world. This makes the beautiful islands the ideal place for training Marines in wet, soggy conditions year-round.
The one word in Hawaii that triggers rainfall almost guaranteed? Reveille.
