Author: Maximilian

Ah the dress blues, the golden pillar of Marine Corps recruiting. Who can resist that snazzy black and gold blouse with those Eagle, Globe and Anchors flanking your collar? Of all of the uniforms in the military, the Marine Corps dress blues remain the highest fashion, with other branches slowly trying to encroach upon the success of our uniform. However, no matter how similar the other branches will try to get, it is the EGA’s on the collar that make the dress blues a success amongst women (and 1 in 10 men?) alike. And, as far as I know, the EGA will always remain exclusive to the Marine Corps. This isn’t a moto-thing, but stylistically, those two golden EGA’s on the collar truly complete the outfit, bringing it from just another jacket to the legendary status it holds.

As for recruiting commercials, maybe they should take me on as a writer for them? With all due respect to the silent drill team, they don’t represent the average grunt. Half of the grunts of my generation didn’t even own dress blues, simply because they weren’t issued to us. If recruiting commercials really wanted to show people what the Marine Corps is like, they’d set free a video camera to the local infantry barracks on a weekend. The horrific events inevitably caught on camera would serve as a great device to entice the people they want, and deter those they don’t.

In site news:

Got some charity stuff up my sleeve… stand by for that.

While I enjoy a Jack and Coke as much as anyone else, the alcohol problem in the military is an unfortunate truth of the world. Alcohol abuse in the Marines is an especially noticeable problem, and unfortunately it’s not just limited to Saturday nights in the barracks. Too often the addiction to alcohol is carried home by the married Marines. There is nothing wrong with drinking in moderation, but moderation isn’t something commonly practiced by the average Marine in just about any context.

Typically, battalion ordered SACO and counseling is just a check in the box. Very rarely do these programs truly absolve the Marine from his demons, often driven by PTSD and depression. The Marine (or person in general) has to want to change in order to actually change. These programs are of good intention, but more often than not end up with just another Lance pissed off at the Marine Corps. It probably doesn’t help that the culture of the Marines itself is one of alcoholic encouragement–Marines coming fresh from high school, away from home with other like-minded individuals who think alcohol is just so super cool. Some grow out of it, but definitely not all.

Anyway, like I said, I enjoy a drink as much as anyone else. However: moderation is key.

In site news, look forward to some big announcements–though not all of them will be on the site…

Otherwise, have a great weekend. All seriousness aside, have a drink for me eh?

The Jack Shack is a sort of magical place; a place where a Marine can be alone… for a time. The battle for an orgasm versus the searing Iraqi and Afghani sun is one waged across many years of conflict. An epic struggle between Marine and nature, between man and the elements.

The Jack Shack takes many forms, from sectioned off bottom racks to porta-shitters, corners of rooms and so-forth. The Jack Shack is a kind of spiritual exercise in stamina and perseverance. Those who make it out of the gauntlet of heat and sweat will find themselves victorious, emerging from the steaming room of spilt seed, interior walls laden with phallic symbols, decorated with unit names and the names of wives and girlfriends of lore. There is no greater feeling than to exit that small blue room, breathing the fresh cool air of victory.

Anyway, I could keep going on about the Jack Shack, but I’d rather not. As for the financial statistics, I will say, they are rough numbers–please don’t take them to be fact.

Also, look forward to something unique in the near future…

I’ll see you all Friday.

Happy Thanksgiving, Marines.

Remember, having Thanksgiving in the chow hall with your friends is better than sitting around, moping about how you’re not at home.

This is something I relate more to from my 2009 deployment to Camp Cupcake: al Asad. You know those guys that stay back at the main installations and you can swear they get fatter each time you see them? That is the result of three full, daily servings of that DFAC magic. For the most part, your average grunt will tend to lose weight, either from a lack of decent food or just a refusal to eat MRE’s. However, back in the rear–those larger bases with which we bestow our many beloved DFAC’s, Green Beans Coffee and even Cinnabon–you will continually find Marines struggling to maintain their weight.

Even for Fobbits, POG’s and grunts stuck in the rear, there are some easy solutions to this. For one, instead of gorging yourself on the fast chow line–try the salad bar? Large installations usually have superb gym facilities as well. Take advantage of it.

I think we’re all familiar with this Marine Corps meme by this point:

Lets keep it that way, yeah?

In site news, there were some server issues today–however they have been resolved. My new host didn’t quite realize how popular Terminal Lance was, and wasn’t prepared for the onslaught. It has since been addressed and fixed, so no worries there. The prints sold quickly, I will be shipping the last of the paid for strips tomorrow. I apologize for the delay, this is a very hectic time of year of course. I look forward to selling a couple more sets of prints for the holidays.

Oh, and before I forget, there is a free shipping sale going on in the Terminal Lance store this week. From Wednesday, Nov. 24th to Sunday, Nov 28th, enter the coupon code: SHIP2010 and you will receive free shipping on all orders $35 or more. Remember, it doesn’t start until Wednesday Nov 24th, and lasts until Sunday Nov 28th. A perfect time to order that sweet Terminal Lance Hoodie, or that Terminal Lance skivvy shirt you’ve been eyeing.

This is not meant to be a criticism of Colors itself, but rather the reaction from the average Lance Corporal. I fully understand the purpose of Colors, and I respect it like anyone else. That said, I would be lying if I said I’ve never ducked into a building or avoided going outside when I realized Colors was playing. All of us have, don’t lie to me and tell me you haven’t. This is obviously an exaggeration, but that should go without saying–being that this is a webcomic.

A slightly late update today, but school’s got me by the balls.

Edit: The prints are sold out.

With this I bid you all a good weekend. Next week is Thanksgiving, which means 96’s for all! I actually lucked out with my classes and am getting a… 120? Yeah, a 120. In any case, I’ll see you next week! Stay updated on my everyday randomness with the Forum as well as my Twitter and the Terminal Lance Facebook Fan Page. We’re over 15,000 fans on Facebook! Keep spreading the word, because it needs to be spread.

According to Urban Dictionary, this is why the anonymous male figure fucking your wife and/or girlfriend is named “Jody”:

In the Marines, a “Jody” is a generalized term meaning: any man who stays home while everyone else goes to war. He gets to enjoy all the things the Marines are missing, more specifically the Marine’s girlfriend back at home while the Marine is away on active duty. The reason that they’re called Jody specifically dates back to black soldiers in WWII. They took a character from old blues songs named Joe the Grinder (or Joe D. Grinder) who would steal the ladies of inmates and soldiers, and clipped his name to Jody.

I personally have never actually heard the explanation for the knick-name. However, it is common knowledge: Jody is at home banging your wife right now. That’s right, Jody. There’s nothing you can do about Jody; he is your girlfriend’s friend at work–the funny one, he’s your soon-to-be-ex-best friend, he’s the guy at the bar that doesn’t care that she’s taken. Jody is all around you, and he is thus a proper Marine Corps Myth and Legend to behold.

In site news, I will be putting up a new set of prints for sale this week–so stand by for that and pay attention to the Facebook fan page for announcements. Additionally, this weekend saw the transfer of Terminal Lance to a new server, so there may or may not have been a few hiccups along the way. Notably, the forum was down for a couple of hours, but thanks to Andy Potanin over at Twin Cities Tech, we hopefully have a much more reliable server.

I wanted to include this photo sent to me by Michael Neidlinger. It is a photo of a Lance Corporal Ramos holding a double rainbow in the palms of his hands. All the way… all the way…

Keep it real gents.

I wonder how many NJP’s would be reduced to a slap on the wrist, how many Marines would lose rank, if only a hug was offered to the SNCO that was so angry. I think sometimes, we all just need a hug. I once tried to give my old company 1st Sergeant a hug (now SgtMaj Chet Houston)–he took up a basic warrior stance and told me to get away. I insisted, but he wasn’t very keen on the idea. I think the magic of hugs is universal. The next time your SNCO is yelling at you, offer to give him a hug. If someone could get it on film, that would be even better, and I could put it up here.

Well yesterday was Veteran’s Day, as I’m sure you all know. I hope all of you went to Chili’s or something and got some delicious free food. As I mentioned on the Facebook Fan Page, I personally went to Chili’s in Union City last night and got some chicken club tacos. Free is the best price, making it all the more delicious. I saw two Marines out front when I walked in wearing chucks, something I don’t see often anymore. I thought about restaurant hopping, possibly hitting up Applebee’s or Texas Roadhouse afterward, but I was a little too full to be ordering multiple meals (we got a free desert at Chili’s too).

In site news, I will possibly be doing some server work this weekend, so expect a little down time here and there. Also, if you haven’t become a fan on Facebook, click on the link to the right and check it out. As well, my Twitter crowd, being much smaller, often gets bits of news that I don’t always mention on Facebook–so if you’re into Twitter, feel free to follow me @TLCplMax.

I dunno what it is about the Marine Corps, but it is too often that you see Marines barely in their middle ages looking like geriatrics. In all reality, it is simply a result of a life time of physical abuse to the body. All of those flak runs, hikes, deployments, hardcore PT sessions and binge drinking add up over the years, believe it or not. I recall returning from Iraq the first time, looking like I had aged several years in the span of 7 months. Physical and emotional strain on a daily basis are not actually good for the human body, believe it or not, and those decrepit SNCO’s and officers that just barely turned 40 are the result. I’m not saying it necessarily happens to everyone, in fact I would be willing to say that those who spend their whole careers in the infantry are much more likely to develop this rapid aging syndrome. Not, of course, to undermine the office life, but to further illustrate my point–that maybe it’s best to get out while you still have some youth left in you. (Or at the very least, LAT move)

With that said, I want to wish you all a Happy Birthday, Marines. As I’m sure you all know, as many of you have probably had your respective Marine Corps Birthday Balls already–Wednesday is November 10th, the 235th Marine Corps Birthday.

Balls are usually one of two things: an extremely boring, cesspool of uniforms and overpriced food; or an extremely boring, cesspool of uniforms and overpriced food inter-laden with random drunk outbursts from your company Gunny and your friends. My last and final Marine Corps ball was the only really fun time I’ve had at one, being able to drink with some unlikely people was an especially good time–as was walking to Wailana’s in Honolulu for pancakes at 2am in a drunken stupor.

Birthday Balls have a way of being either miserable or a lot of fun, but as with most things in the Corps–it’s only fun if you make it that way.

So I say to you all, have a Happy Birthday and make it fun.

Oh yes, and don’t forget–Thursday is Nov. 11th, Veteran’s Day. I remind you: Chili’s and Applebee’s, along with many other establishments, are offering free food to veterans and active military personnel (at participating locations, make sure you check). If you’re a veteran away from a major military establishment, go get some free food! If you’re stuck around Pendleton or some other hugely populated area of military, you’ll probably end up being better off eating at the chow hall–as I would expect these fine establishments will be packed beyond comprehension.

**UPDATE**

The winner’s name is Sean Elliot.

There were a lot of great submissions to the Comic Strip Contest. Unfortunately, there can be only one winner, the honor of which goes to the forum user treeflower. (I will update with the user’s actual name when I receive the info.)

I had no official criteria for choosing a winner, but ultimately this strip’s simple but effective artwork combined with a great punchline added up to being a strip that I ultimately enjoyed the most. It was a hard decision, but I appreciate everyone’s submissions and effort. I wanted to put up some additional strips that were good. I can’t put them all up, but here are 4 other entries that are worth mentioning:

Seeing some Marine wives around base is always good for a laugh.

Irony is never lost in the Corps, even on deployment.

I think all of us had this problem… unless you were one of the short guys. As someone that’s 6′ even, it was something I remember quite fondly.

I actually was planning on doing a strip on this subject, looks like someone beat me to it!

If you would like to see the rest of the entires, please feel free to visit the thread on the Forum here.

Overall I thought the entries were great, and I was surprised to see 3 strips about Drill Instructors. I suppose it makes sense, after all, boot camp is the one thing that all Marines actually have in common. They are a universally recognized aspect of Marine Corps culture, regardless of rank or MOS.

Anyway, thank you to everyone that submitted a strip! Congratulations to forum user treeflower! This was definitely a fun thing, perhaps something that could happen again in the future…

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter! A great place to keep up on things like Taco Bell’s Chalupacabra.