All of us who join the military fight for a reason. For some, it’s the love their country. For others, it’s for the love of their family. For other others, it’s for the love of big-tiddy anime cat girls.
Whatever reason you have to fight, let it be a guiding light in your darkest moments.
For your pleasure, I’ve included a blank version to do with as you will. Fill it with whatever inspires you to keep fighting, warrior.
Over the weekend, Russia’s “Wagner” group (a private mercenary group) staged an attempted coup against Moscow, threatening to overthrow Putin. Well, they did for about half a day, and then decided to turn around and just kind of go home.
Supposedly, the leader of the group reached some kind of deal with Putin, or otherwise had his family threatened, or who actually knows. Either way, it was a short-lived excitement across social media.
Wagner, however, will live on in porta-shitters across the Corps for all of eternity.
Every Marine in the Corps is prescribed a “knick-name,” willingly or not, by the members of their cohort. Some are better than others, but one thing is certain: almost no one gets to pick their own nickname. What sticks is what sticks, and there are few exceptions to the rule.
Generally, your nickname will be derived by some kind of uncontrollable character trait of yours. As long as it’s easier to remember than your real name, the nickname will stick.
If you’re like me, you’ll luck out and have a last name that’s too difficult to pronounce, so people will just call you by your real first name. My first name is only 3 letters long (Max), which is perfect for the reading comprehension level of a standard Marine Corps infantryman.
Lucky me.
If you’re a Terminal Lance aficionado, you probably noticed that today’s comic is a throwback to Terminal Lance #1. Can you believe we’ve been at this for 13 years?
Where as the time gone?
Mikey makes a great point here. Maybe this is why God’s relationship with the Marines is… tumultuous, at best. I mean, how else are Staff NCO’s with 4 divorces under their belts before the age of 30 getting into heaven?
Are we even going to mention that Marines have affectionately adopted the nickname of “devil dogs?”
Happy Memorial Day everyone, and I truly mean that. Today is a day that we honor our fallen, but it should be a happy day. Spend it with your family, your friends, your children, enjoying your life in honor of those who can’t.
It’s what these hooligans upstairs would want for you.
Deep in the recesses of the San Onofre coastline in California lies the dastardly Green Weenie Research Facility. It is there that the Marine Corps’ top evil scientists work on new and inventive ways to make the lives of Marines miserable.
The “Squad Push-Up” was a product of years of illegal experiments on Marines, culminating in the obscene workout in which you stick your face up the butthole of your friends and pushup together. As one.
A… Human centipede, of sorts.
Enlist today pic.twitter.com/9OOGSriJUL
— Terminal Lance (@TerminalLance) November 11, 2021
Stay vigilant, Marines. The evil of the Green Weenie doesn’t rest.
Huge congratulations to the 3 winners above! We had a lot of great entries and it was a tough choice, but these three took the cake for me. I’m so amazed by the talent of TL fans.
There’s no specific criteria that I’m looking for really, it’s just a matter of some very subjective things that resonate with me. Particularly, I look at the humor, the readability of the comic, the layout, the artwork. Again, all of it is subjective, and there were plenty of other great ones that we received.
These three winners above will be receiving a TL loot box! Thank you to everyone who participated!
If you want to see the entries that didn’t quite make the cut, head over to the official TL Discord server!
EDIT: See the WINNERS here.
CONTEST!
Between now and Friday, May 5th, draw, paint or scratch a MARINE CORPS/MILITARY comic strip using the template provided. Your choice of black and white, color, digital, pencil, crayon, whatever.
3 WINNERS will receive a TERMINAL LANCE LOOT BOX in the mail and will have their comics featured on Terminal Lance. Send your comic to TL via official social media or email to social@terminallance.com before 23:59 May 4th, 2023.
TEMPLATE:
Swim qual is another one of those things that would be fun if it wasn’t in the Marine Corps. In theory, jumping into a pool with your closest friends and swimming around should be a grand old time.
However, trying to swim across a pool or tread water for 5 minutes in boots and cammies is a lot harder than it initially looks. These training events more often than not devolve into a panic-attack of splishing and splashing while a cold-hearted instructor watches you drown.
Me personally: I consider myself a relatively strong swimmer, and had no real problems passing swim qual “2” (the old system pre-2012) in boot camp. I occasionally surf as well, and I can tell you personally that water has a way of separating the real men from the boys. As big and tough as you may think you are, you’re no match for the domain of Poseidon. A big body of water will quickly humble you in seconds if you’re not ready for it.
It was interesting to see the wide range of proficiencies and deficiencies aboard the Recruit Depot. I was a weak body that couldn’t do 10 pull-ups (tall and lanky), but I could shoot Expert, never fell out of a single hump, and passed Swim Qual with flying colors. Conversely, my platoon guide could run a 300 PFT, but he unq’d on the range and nearly drowned in the pool.
The Marine Corps is truly a place of unmatched diversity. But never forget, Marines are first and foremost expected to be amphibious.
If it ain’t rainin’, we ain’t training. Or, more accurately, if we ain’t trainin’, it ain’t rainin’.
Pack your Goretex on every field op, because the good lord certainly has a sense of humor as it pertains to Marines. Maybe we did something in a past life that irked him the wrong way. I dunno. He seems to have a soft spot for making the lives of Marines miserable.
After all, why else are we the only ones standing post up there?
Welcome to this exclusive cozy, rustic bungalow with industrial vibes in beautiful Twentynine Palms! This converted conex box is located in a gated community with armed security, so you’ll feel safe and sound day and night.
This authentic experience comes with up to three MRE’s per person, per day, and your own dusty corner to sleep in. To maintain its rustic charm, there is no running water in this vacation rental. Bathroom facilities can be found all across the community in the form of bright blue port-a-shitters. Each port-a-shitter is decorated with hand-drawn art from local craftsmen.
ADVISORY: Please avoid interacting with the locals, as they can be crude and unusual to visitors. As well, do avoid swimming or making any kind of contact with the beautiful Lake Bandini, as it is toxic.
Enjoy your stay!