Author: Maximilian

  • Force Modernization

    Force Modernization

    On god, the Corps is going through the biggest glow up modern times. The Commandant finna make this place bussin and ready to tackle the modern challenges we face in the global security environment.

    Really though, there are a lot of huge changes happening all over the Corps as part of Force Design 2030. In my tenure as the Terminal Lance guy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite as drastic as what we’ve been getting over the last year. Just earlier this week, it was announced that Scout Snipers will no longer be a thing.

    At least now I don’t feel as bad about 0351 and my alma mater 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marines getting the axe.

    What I’ve learned over the years is that the Corps is actually constantly changing and evolving. There is forever new blood pumping in and out of the Corps in the form of new 18 and 19 year old recruits every week. An ethos of the Corps is to “adapt and overcome,” and this is something that I think the Marines do better than they get credit for. Ultimately change is good. Change is evolution, and evolution makes us stronger.

    It remains to be seen if Staff NCO’s can change, or if they will continue to stumble over every other word of a promotion warrant as they read it aloud.

  • The Haircut Guide

    The Haircut Guide

    Every week, male Marines are presented with a selection of do’s and styles for their hair. The choices available are limited, but offer some variety in their look and feel.

    A tried and true medium-reg this week? Maybe you’re feeling extra motivated and spring for the classic Marine Corps high-and-tight. Or, perhaps the lowest fade you can possibly get away with while still being zero-to-exactly-three-inches on top.

    The choice is yours, Marines!

    In other news, we have some exciting new T-shirts and other merch coming to the TL store soon, so stay tuned for that.

    Additionally, I wanted to mention that you can now subscribe to TL as a premium member on the official Terminal Lance Instagram page. This will give you some behind the scenes extra content and sneak peaks at upcoming stuff. I know this kind of stuff is annoying, but it turns out making content and running all of this takes time and energy and we all have bills to pay. If you’re a fan of TL, consider helping support by subscribing. Head over to Instagram to learn more!

  • The Adventures of Chinese Spy Balloon

    The Adventures of Chinese Spy Balloon

    When the news broke last week that a Chinese spy balloon was ominously hovering over the continental United States, I was a bit baffled. On one hand, it’s obviously bad when America’s enemies are obviously crossing boundaries they shouldn’t be. On the other, it was so ridiculous and incredibly stupid that it was more funny than anything.

    The balloon is now dead in the water (literally) after it was shot down off the coast of Myrtle Beach. The Chinese government claims it was a civilian craft, which is… absurd.

    Anyway, the adventures of Chinese Spy Balloon were short-lived, but entertaining nonetheless. I think I’m going to pitch this as a show to Netflix.

  • STA-ying Put

    STA-ying Put

    There’s nothing that makes 12 year olds on XBOX Live and the enemies of the United States of America more angry than USMC Scout Snipers. These guys will camp all day and night to surveil and shoot guys in the face from hundreds of meters away, whether they like it or not.

    My first introduction to STA platoon was with the film Jarhead (2005). Believe it or not, Jake Gyllenhaal being miserable and hating his life as a Scout Sniper was a huge part of what drove me to joining the Marine Corps. I enlisted as an open-contract 0300 (infantry, undesignated) with the hopes of joining STA as soon as I got to the fleet.

    That was, until I saw the Indoc…

    At that point, I was already over the whole thing, counting the days to my EAS, and didn’t feel the need to add more weight to my pack (literally). Still, I occasionally dream about a life that could have been… Sitting in my own excrement for days at a time, waiting for that perfect shot.

    Perhaps in the next life.

  • Modern Warfare 2 (2022) and Warzone 2.0 – Review
    SCORE
    8/10

    Modern Warfare 2 (2022) and Warzone 2.0 – Review

    For many years, Call of Duty was stuck in a strange limbo of days of future-past warfighting between World War II and future sci-fi that I personally found to be somewhat of a slump. The 2019 Modern Warfare reboot was a solid return to form for the Call of Duty franchise that brought the series back to some form of contemporary reality. Modern Warfare 2 is the worthy continuation of that reboot, as well as a new chapter for the Warzone Battle Royale mode.

    Modern Call of Duty is a difficult game to objectively review, because it’s really 3 entirely different games altogether. You have the single player campaign, the standard (classic) multiplayer modes, and then the new(ish) Battle Royale game mode of Warzone.

    The single player game this time around is intriguing, and as always you can expect outstanding production value. The story drags a little bit, but I think the callbacks to real life events (such as the assassination of Iranian General Soleimani) make it interesting enough.

    Probably my favorite part of the single player campaign is near the beginning, when you have to engage with terrorists in an American suburban town along the Mexican border. The game plays out in a traditional Call of Duty fashion (which I find to be give or take), with first-person cinematic action set-pieces unfolding all around you while you engage in what always boils down to a shooting gallery section.

    Where I spent the bulk of my time with this game was in multiplayer, and specifically the “traditional” multiplayer modes. There’s something about some classic Call of Duty Team Deathmatch that really scratches that itch. The twitch-gunplay handles as well as it ever has, and remains as addictive as it was when the original Modern Warfare II came out in 2009.

    The game offers an unprecedented amount of customization for your weapons and your builds. Each weapon delivers attachment slots for nearly every piece, allowing you to change out the barrel, buttstock, sights, and even the pistol grip (and much more).

    To be frank, I’m not a huge fan of Battle Royale games in general, but I do find Warzone 2.0 to be a fun time if you’re in the right mood for it. Battle Royale modes have a tendency to be tense, sweaty-palmed exercises in survival, and Warzone 2.0 is no different. I think Warzone occupies a needed place in the sea of the battle Royale genre as essentially the only contemporary military game. If you played Warzone before, there’s not much here that is different (other than upgraded graphics, map, etc). A key addition to Warzone that makes it interesting is the Gulag, where you go when you die, and where you can win your freedom back. The Gulag gives Warzone more incentive to play, as you feel like you at least have a chance at getting back into the match.

    The whole package of Modern Warfare 2 delivers exactly what you probably expected, nothing more and nothing less. In this sense, it’s a pretty solid game all-around. If there’s anything about it to nitpick about, it’s the typical annoying Call of Duty-isms that have permeated the series over the last 10 years, like Battlepass micro transactions, spammy menus, sweaty chromed out prestige players wearing bright “fuck you” colors in multiplayer, etc.

    But, such is gaming in 2023.

  • Avatar: The Way of Water – Review

    Avatar: The Way of Water – Review

    I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve always really liked the original 2009 Avatar film. As an artist and animator myself, the film was a momentous achievement of visual effects that still stands the test of time today. It’s a solid story that is straightforward and executed incredibly well. However, it’s a strangely divisive film when you consider that it holds the world box office record at nearly $3 billion worldwide.

    Either way, I was unironically excited to watch Avatar: The Way of Water, if not just to get back into the beautiful alien world of Pandora again and lose myself in a theater seat for a few hours.

    13 years after the original film, the story of Way of the Water has us returning to Pandora a seemingly real-equivalent of years later to find our Marine buddy Jake Sully in full dad-mode with 3 blue kids of his own, now happily settled down with Neytiri. They live in relative peace until the sky people return to pillage and seek revenge against Jake. Jake flees the jungle with his family, taking them to safety in a faraway sea-fairing tribe of aqua-marine people. Here, Jake and his family must learn The Way of Water and fit in with their new life abroad.

    To be blunt about my opinion on the movie: Avatar: The Way of Water is one of the best movies I’ve seen in many years. It is a meticulous marriage of filmmaking craft that nearly doesn’t exist anymore. Visuals, sound, music, story, acting all come together to create a cohesive product that seamlessly blends the imaginative and the real in a way that has never been done before.

    Fittingly for an older filmmaker like James Cameron, in many ways it feels like a throwback film to the 80’s and 90’s, when action and adventure movies were complex and complete. When filmmakers dared to push the boundaries of special effects and craft, and not just settle for whatever works. When writers didn’t care about hitting Save The Cat beats on the script, and just built worlds and characters that you care about.

    The 3 hour runtime might seem daunting at first, but it is put to good use. Cameron gives us ample time on Pandora and with each character, making us actually care about them and their journey. When things happen, you actually give a shit, because these people actually matter and feel real, despite the fact that they are most-definitely computer animated.

    For the first time in film history, Avatar: The Way of Water actually delivers on the promise of bringing real characters to life using computer animation. VFX shots are no longer VFX shots–they are the film itself. It is hard to even describe the feeling of watching this movie, it’s one of those things you need to experience for yourself.

    Catch it while it’s still in the theater.

  • The Pandorussy

    The Pandorussy

    Let’s be realistic, Marines probably weren’t the best choice for this mission. When you ask people what is an authentic movie about the Marine Corps, many of them will say Full Metal Jacket or Jarhead. Me? I say James Cameron’s Avatar.

    Avatar is the story of United States Infantry Marine veteran Jake Sully traveling to a moon of Jupiter and immediately engaging in coitus with the local flora and fauna. He finds the hottest alien of the tribe and has incredible, hot, sensual magic tree sex with her and takes over her entire tribe. I’ve never seen a filmmaker capture the espirit de Corps of Marines with such accuracy and respect.

    Having just watched Avatar: The Way of Water in the theater, I thought it would be a good time to visit Pandora and take a look at the 2009 original again.

    I’ll be honest: I really love this movie in an unironic way. I know people like to talk a lot of shit about it for its “derivative” story, but we all just sat through 29 Marvel movies with the exact same plot and characters, so I don’t think that’s a valid critique anymore.

    I may post a full review of The Way of Water, but for now just know that I was blown away by it. It’s been so long since I’ve seen a big-budget blockbuster movie that made me actually feel anything. It was a much-needed breath of fresh air (or water?).

  • Warfighter Tested, Warfighter Approved

    Warfighter Tested, Warfighter Approved

    While admittedly, some of the MRE menu items have improved over time (Menu 23: Pepperoni Pizza Slice exists now), I’ve always felt like the selection of dishes available to Marines (and others, I guess) is lacking. Nobody in the entire Marine Corps is going to a restaurant to order Cheese Tortellini or whatever “Beef Strips in Tomato Sauce” is.

    Why not come up with some menu items that Marines actually want to eat?

    Nearly every Marine knows that relationships and long distance rarely work out for the best, because many of us have tried and failed at it due to the nomadic nature of being enlisted on Active Duty. Still, it doesn’t seem to stop us. Maybe it’s the challenge that attracts Marines to impossible and improbable relationships.

    I’m no exception. Even after I left the Corps, I ended up talking to, dating, and then marrying a woman from London. It was long-distance for a couple of years before she finally moved out to the states with me.

    As I said, Marines can’t resist.

    On a side note, if you follow TL on social media, you know that January 5th was our 13th Birthday. It’s amazing how time flies, and equally amazing how much of a crazy journey this little comic strip of mine has taken me. I’m a bit older now, but I like to think I’ve done a good job of maintaining the original spirit of Terminal Lance over all these years.

    I appreciate everyone’s love and support over the last 13 years. TL wouldn’t be anything if it weren’t for the Marines that read it and allow me to entertain them.

    Who knows where we go next, but we’re not done yet.

  • Unit of the Year 2022

    Unit of the Year 2022

    The official TERMINAL LANCE UNIT OF THE YEAR 2022 is 3RD BATTALION, 3RD MARINES, who just returned home from deployment.

    I’ll admit, this contest was rigged. 3/3 is my old alma mater, and I’m awarding them this honor as a a bittersweet goodbye. The K-Bay unit stands to be deactivated in early 2023 as part of a force redesign.

    As far as Unit of the Year goes, it was almost 3/6 for their incredible shenanigans this year, but a few Marines from 3/3 actually came out to see me in Okinawa last month since they were on the island, which got them some major brownie points.

    In the storied history of 3/3, my time with the unit was relatively brief, but I’ll never forget the days at Mackie Hall and abroad.

    Godspeed and fair winds, America’s Battalion.

  • Merry Christmas, Marines… Wherever you Are

    Merry Christmas, Marines… Wherever you Are

    Marines often have the unfortunate luck to be abroad, in danger, or otherwise not having a good time during the holidays. It can be a difficult time of year for many–enlisted and their families.

    This year, I’ll Be Home for Christmas by Bing Crosby came to mind. The song was originally written and performed in 1943 with regard to the military serving abroad in World War II. While we may not be fighting in a Great War (at the moment), many Marines and service members are still out and about. As someone who spent at least one holiday season deployed, I know personally how much the little things matter.

    Enjoy the holiday in whatever way you can. Rest and recover… We got a lot to do in 2023.

    Merry Christmas, Marines… Wherever you are today.