Author: Maximilian

  • The Target Guy

    The Target Guy

    For years, one man has terrorized Marines in combat marksmanship more than anyone else. He has been killed more times than possible to count. He’s in the corners and on the walls waiting, limply pointing his rifle at you for eternity… He is… The target guy.

    I actually did not know prior to doing this comic that this guy has a whole backstory as reported by the Marine Times. Apparently he is a retired Gunny who works with the Marine Corps range development in Cherry Point and just kind of randomly posed for this image. Incredible how instantly someone can become an absolute icon.

  • Olympian Shooter

    Olympian Shooter

    As of writing, the United States has 1 Gold Medal in the Olympic shooting category, putting us in 3rd place behind China and South Korea. To say I am ashamed and embarrassed is to put it lightly. This is America, dammit! As a nation without free healthcare, guns are kind of all we have. We need to win this.

    We need to send our best.

    There’s various archetypes in every Marine platoon that you can always count on to be there. We’ve covered many of them before, but one of them is the lanky white redneck that can gut any animal, hit any target, and sleep with any one of his cousins. He’s been building his own guns out of rusty pipes and firecrackers since he was a kid, making him an expert in the shooting arts.

    Today is the day we call upon him to bring us home the gold. We need you, lanky hillbilly guy.

  • The Swarm II

    The Swarm II

    Bootcamp isn’t always miserable. There are fleeting moments when you’re able to distract yourself long enough to think happy thoughts. Enjoy the moment. Maybe you remembered something whimsical from your childhood. Maybe you’re daydreaming about the pizza and burgers you’re going to eat when you go home.

    Maybe you even crack a smile.

    Such enjoyment is short-lived. Any and all feelings of happiness and contentment is quickly squashed by the angry hordes of Drill Instructors roaming the Recruit Depot.

    To be a recruit is to be free of all want, all desire, all happiness.

  • The Story of Creation II

    The Story of Creation II

    In the beginning, God created the Recruit. He was wretched, diseased and malformed. Cursed to a life of misery aboard the Marine Corps Recruit Depots of San Diego and Parris Island. Part of their torture was being given the opportunity to gaze upon the glory of the soft-serve ice cream machines endemic to every chow hall…but they were forbidden from touching it.

    For real though, why is this thing even there? The Marines eat in a separate area from the diseased recruits, so obviously they could remove it from the recruit side.

    My personal theory is that it is there just as the forbidden fruit was placed in the garden of Eden: temptation. The Drill Instructors want you to fail so that they have another reason to yell at you.

    Don’t be the one that listens to the snake. Avoid the ice cream.

  • Enlisted VS Officer: New Marines

    Enlisted VS Officer: New Marines

    As I’m sure you probably already know if you’re reading this, Marines come in two primary flavors: Enlisted and Officer. In many ways, they’re very similar. Both wear camouflage to work, both engage in Marine-like activities, and both are employed by the United States government.

    However, when it comes to new Marines, there’s a stark difference: one of these Marines (the Enlisted) is placed into a platoon with zero responsibilities and zero expectations. An Officer? They’re placed in charge of everyone.

    There’s nothing wrong with being new. We were all once a boot, after all. The difference is that no one expected me to lead 40+ Marines into battle when I stepped off the plane from the School of Infantry.

    With that said, you have the respect the audacity involved in wanting that level of responsibility fresh out of college. That 2.57 GPA English degree will surely turn the tide of the battles to come.

  • The All-Nighter

    The All-Nighter

    There’s no worse feeling than showing up to morning formation after a night of splendorous indulgence into the wee hours of the morning. For many Marines, that will probably involve binge-drinking, vomiting, other bodily fluids, and possibly farm animals.

    Other Marines enjoy different vices, such as staying up all night playing videogames while your roommate is trying to sleep.

    When I was a wee-boot at Mackie Hall, Kaneohe Bay, I recall buying an XBOX 360 and the latest Elder Scrolls game for my room. This made a great distraction while on standby or for some late nights with a locked door and curtains closed.

    However, it attracted some… Unwanted attention. One of my “senior” Lance Corporals discovered my electronic entertainment set up and decided that he was going to spend the next week playing Oblivion every night until it was time for morning PT. I’m not a selfish person, I don’t mind sharing my toys, but this shit got old really quick.

    It wasn’t until I stuffed the setup into my wall-locker and kept it secured that I was able to get a good night’s sleep.

    As far as Final Fantasy VII goes, the answer to who is Cloud’s true love has always been Tifa. I will not be accepting any questions on the matter.

  • The Chow Hall Days

    The Chow Hall Days

    Every day at the chow hall presents itself with a deliciously festive culinary theme for Marines to enjoy. “Taco Tuesday,” “Hamburger Hump-Day,” “Italian Friday” are just some of the themed days of the week that Marines can look forward to at their local dining facility.

    I’m particularly fond of “Empty Saturday Night” and “Broke-Ass Waiting for Payday Sunday Morning” on the weekends.

    Whatever the day, you can be assured that SODEXO’s finest are preparing nothing but the best prison-grade, government-approved food for your heroes in uniform to indulge and enjoy.

  • Not a Cell Phone in Sight

    Not a Cell Phone in Sight

    There was a time before cell phones when people were more present in their daily lives. Instead of staring down at their electronic devices, they were in the moment. Living.

    You can have this same nostalgic experience in the Marine Corps infantry, where you’re stuck in the field for days and weeks at a time, without a cell phone in sight. Smell the fresh air. The crisp rain. The misery.

    In all seriousness, there is something about the shared squalor amongst Marines that brings you all closer. Surviving together with nothing more than each other to entertain yourselves.

    This is what makes Marines.

    A few admin notes:

    You may have noticed I’ve been somewhat absent from my duties as Lance Corporal of the Marine Corps. This is, without a doubt, the longest stretch I’ve ever gone without posting regularly in 14 years of doing Terminal Lance.

    I have been recalibrating a lot. I have a young toddler and I’m also in a full time graduate program right now (using that GI Bill), so I have a lot on my plate. With that said, my work on TL has always been important to me and, prior to now, I’ve always put it first above all else. That is how I took TL to the heights it has reached over the years. Nonstop hustle.

    I’ve done a lot over the years and I have TL and the amazing community that has supported me to thank. It’s rare to create anything that so many people across the world love and appreciate, and I don’t take it for granted.

    Over the last few years I had a few professional setbacks that really did a number on me emotionally–combined with being a new dad, taking care of a baby, COVID, and everything else, it just really sent everything up in the air. I had to really take some steps back and evaluate whether my relationship to Terminal Lance was healthy.

    In any case, this isn’t a farewell post, just musing about the state of things. I’m trying some new stuff, like this animation here, and it gets me excited about new possibilities and frontiers.

    Consider supporting TL on Patreon by joining the Lance Corporal Underground. Terminal Lance has been independently owned and operated since day one in 2010, and your support will keep it that way. Check it out here!

  • The Temptress

    The Temptress

    The Career Planner in any battalion has one job: keep Marines enlisted. Usually, as your EAS date looms, you are likely to be approached by these institutional agents to talk over options for re-enlisting (should you be considering it). They can authorize bonuses and negotiate incentives for you to stay onboard.

    Maybe you want a new duty station? A new MOS? Perhaps a few extra bucks will be enough to grease the palms into sticking around (or returning). For some, there is no price for the sweet sound of freedom.

    Whatever you choose, just remember that the GI Bill is an incredible benefit and allows you a second wind to do literally whatever you want with your life.

  • The Spirit of Christmas

    The Spirit of Christmas

    The Ghost of Chesty Puller comes to us Marines in our most trying times. We never know when he will pop up to give us clarity and insight into our lives, but we’re happy that he does.

    Merry Christmas, Marines.