Wishing everyone a very Merry Marine Corps Christmas. I picked out your favorite MRE menu items for you to enjoy today. Some exciting things already in the works for TL in 2026, so stay tuned.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from yours truly.
Author: Maximilian
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Pardon Me
It’s Thanksgiving this week, and it’s the time of year to look around and give thanks to the things that enrich our daily lives. All of us can be thankful for our health… for our families… and for our friends that get us through the day to day.
Me? I’m thankful for all of the Lance Corporals in the Marine Corps that keep it real every single day. Much like the majestic American turkey, the Lance Corporal is a free spirit, a wild card of ingenuity and unpredictability. It keeps things fun and lively in a world marred by monotony.
With Thanksgiving also comes BLACK FRIDAY, and to celebrate, we have 10% of all purchases at the official TL Store and a new Drill Instructor shirt to commemorate. Head over to the official TL store and pick it up right here.
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250 Years
Today officially marks the 250th Birthday of the United States Marine Corps, which is obviously a big day for the expeditionary force.
As the legend goes, the Marine Corps was born in a bar. Tun Tavern, Philadelphia to be exact. One can only imagine the kind of debauchery that led up to such an iconic moment that would stand the test of history. 250 years later, we still talk of their legends and still fight in their Corps.
I had the pleasure of being the Guest of Honor at Security Bn’s Marine Corps Ball this weekend in Quantico. That evening, I saw a ball room full of young, wondrous Lance Corporals and everyone else that follow in the footsteps of the legends of Tun Tavern, Philadelphia.
I also drank way too much, lost my voice shouting over the music, and made the Staff NCO’s and officers stand up during my speech for no particular reason. It was a great night, and honestly a nice reminder that what I do (and have done) is unique in the world… As are the Marines.
Happy 250th Birthday, Marines.
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Halloween Horrors
The most horrifying thing a young Lance Corporal can experience is the agony and anxiety of not knowing why First Sergeant wants to see you in his office first thing in the morning. The blind text and the total lack of context is key. They do this on purpose to keep you in a state of uncertainty.
In other news, this has obviously been a difficult month for the military community with the government shutdown. I’m not really sure how all of this will shake out, but I feel for the young Marines and families caught in the middle of it. I know they managed to scrape together a military paycheck for this weekend, but there’s also many government employees and people on SNAP and other benefits that are feeling the hurt right now.
At the very least, I hope everyone had a good Halloween last night.
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Aura-Farming
There’s a brief moment after running a range or strenuous training evolution where, covered in sweat, dirt, and clad in all of your gear, allows for the perfect aura. This is a time when you should take a photo for your profile pic, or maybe just bask in the warmth of looking like a complete and total badass. There are few things more authentically cool than a Marine immediately after doing the hard work of the day.
“Aura-farming” is a term I have come to really enjoy recently, and I think just by virtue of being in an organization that operates in really cool gear and events, there’s more opportunities than most occupations to exploit the moment.
Let’s face it: you probably won’t ever be this cool again. Stock up on the photos while you can, it will come in handy when it’s time to impress the boys and girls in your college class while using the GI Bill.
Watch this comic come to life behind-the-scenes on the official TL Patreon!
I hate having to upsell you guys on stuff, but I just want to mention that TL has been 100% independent for 15 years, hand-drawn and never AI slop. If you want to support independent artists, subscribe to TL on Patreon or Instagram and help keep things running!
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Terminal Lance Comic Strip Contest Winner
Over the last week or so, we ran a comic strip contest for a chance to win a loot box of TL goodies. We had a bunch of talented folk, both military and civilian, enter the contest and come up with some funny Marine Corps comics to be featured on TL.
However, there could be only 1 winner voted on by the Terminal Lance Discord community…
Tesa Teloungu! This person also runs a really great comic series that mixes fantasy and Marine Corps humor into a creative mishmash. Check them out here!
Here are additional entries for your entertainment:
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Welcome to the Rapture
Marines have a tumultuous relationship with God and other heavenly beings. Some claim that God seems to love Marines, but if that were true, why does he make them stand post on the streets of Heaven? It seems Marines can never catch a break, alive or dead, and so it would be fitting that even if the world were to end tomorrow, you’d still have to go on this field op.
Pack your shit.
I got really sucked into the whole rapture thing this week, but probably not for the reasons that the insane people on TikTok who believe it’s happening do. You see, I came across the Panama meteor alien on TikTok randomly, which told TikTok that I must really love dumb conspiracy stuff, so consequently the algorithm started serving me up a ton of weirdos preparing for this heavenly event.
If you want some extra behind-the-scenes with commentary from yours truly on this comic, head over to the official TL Patreon. I’m also uploading these behind-the-scenes bits to FB and Instagram if you’d prefer to subscribe there. Terminal Lance is 100% independent since 2010, so please check them out if you feel inclined to support indie creators that make you laugh.
I’d say the biggest challenge facing TL right now is just that everything is so segmented these days. There are just so many social media platforms and I’ve been trying to find an elegant way to tie them all together. Terminal Lance ultimately lives right here on this website, but ad revenue, subscriptions etc are done on different platforms.
In the meantime, we have a CONTEST going on right now! Check it out right here for a chance to win some TL swag.
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TERMINAL LANCE COMIC STRIP CONTEST
Terminal Lance Comic Strip Contest
Are you a prolific port-a-john artist and want to make the Marine Corps laugh? Show us what you got! We’re holding a Terminal Lance Comic Strip Contest—your chance to flex your creativity and win some exclusive TL goodies.
How to Enter:
* Create a comic strip about military life (ideally the Marine Corps).
* Medium is up to you—draw it, paint it, sculpt it, carve it, whatever. If it tells a story in comic strip form, it counts.
* Submit your entry by September 30th, 1200 PST.
Submission:
* DM Terminal Lance on FB or Instagram, post on the official #comic-contest room on the TL Discord, or email at social@terminallance.com with the subject COMIC STRIP CONTEST
* Make sure it’s clear and easy to read!
* Ideal dimensions: 1080×1350 px for maximum readability on social media
Voting:
* After the deadline, the TL Discord community will vote on their favorite strips.
* The comic with the most votes wins!
Prize:
* The winner will receive a Terminal Lance Care Package loaded with TL goodies. -
Hostile Takeover
MARINES! ATTENTION! This is a HOSTILE takeover! My name is 1stSgt Reynolds coming to you this morning from my beloved Camp Pendleton, California. I have COMMANDEERED this TERMINAL PANTS page in the name of good order and discipline. For FAR TOO LONG this account has POLLUTED the minds of junior Marines with whining, sarcasm, and the kind of UNSAT barracks humor that is INCOMPATIBLE with maintaining GOOD ORDER AND DISCIPLINE.Let me be clear about something: I do not like this “Lance Corporal” Maximilian URINATE whatsoever. His “comics” have corrupted the very foundation of this beloved Corps and we can NO LONGER allow him to denigrate the legacy of 250 years of Marine Corps traditions.Beginning today, there will be no more TERMINAL PANTS. You want funny? Here’s a funny comic for you: maybe if you didn’t COMPLAIN and MOAN all day, you’d get to be treated like the adult you THINK you are. If you think this is a joke, think again. Marines don’t need JOKES. Marines need DISCIPLINE. Marines need BEARING.
MAXIMILIAN URINATE had his fun, but his reign of laziness and mockery ENDS HERE. Consider this page under new management.Semper Fidelis,1stSgt Reynolds -
Saltpeter
A legend that has persisted for as long as I can remember is that of the saltpeter-tainted food at bootcamp. As it goes, the reason no one gets an erection while at the Recruit Depot is because they put something in the food to keep the recruits unaroused. You see, it’s not because you’re stressed out, getting yelled at by sweaty dudes, or being hazed until you pass out.
It’s the food!
Incredibly, this myth has been around for… well… ever. I guess it’s just unfathomable to most that they may be unable to achieve arousal unless there’s some insidious secret behind it.
For my part, while the 3 months of recruit training was the longest I had ever gone without… relieving the pressure… I know it wasn’t the food, because it was also the only time I’ve ever had a wet dream in my life, so there’s that.
Thankfully, it was a couple of hours before reveille.