Baghdad, Iraq, zero-three-hundred hours… You’re jolted awake in your sleeping bag by a loud rumbling at your side… An enemy attack? You’re not sure. You unzip the bag and pop your head out to take a look… It’s your racist uncle, fast asleep. He forgot his sleep apnea machine and his snores are louder than any mortar you’ve heard so far.
There’s obviously a very touchy geopolitical situation going on in the Middle East right now. Tensions are on the rise as the threat of war with Iran looms over the heads of our young men and women deployed to Iraq. They may or may not have feelings of their own about the situation. Most of the time spent as a Marine is just doing what you’re told, whether you want to or not. Your opinion, as a Marine, doesn’t matter there.
Of course, the opinions on the internet of divorced alcoholics with enlarged prostates don’t really matter either, but that sure doesn’t stop them from putting them all over the internet. As with anything that would be better off without them (like their ex-wives), the hardline Facebook Veterans are out in full force, stumping for a war with Iran that they won’t have to fight.
Let’s send them, I say. In the great words of Ken Watanabe…