Terminal Lance #556 “Fab Seventeen-Seventy-Five”

If you think the Fab Five are fabulous, let me tell you about the United States Marine Corps! An organization consisting of over 90% fit males, they strictly enforce tight haircuts and tight buttholes sleeves. Dressed wrong? A fit, masculine man in the shortest, silkiest shorts will come over and set you straight.

Enlist today if you love looking good in front of all your manliest friends, being told how to think and feel about everything, and love getting fucked daily. Love showering and sleeping in the tightest of quarters with people of the same gender as you? The Marine Corps is definitely for you.

And to think, of all places, it used to be illegal to be gay there.