Year: 2016

A MARINE ON DUTY HAS NO FRIENDS.

Poor Duty.

Duty is as much a part of Marine Corps life as guns and disappointment. Whether you’re single, married, ranking high or low, you can’t avoid it. If you’re young and dumb you’ll be the A-Duty, if you’re an NCO you’ll be the Duty NCO, if you’re a Staff NCO you’ll be the battalion Staff Duty, if you’re an officer you’ll be the Officer of the Day. The Faceless God is the only one who can decide who stands and who rests for duty.

No but really, the duty has plenty of friends, and he keeps them by not being a total blue falcon to his fellow Marines while on duty. A good duty (and everyone’s friend) is a guy that keeps order and security in the barracks without messing up a Marine’s career over breaking some small rule he didn’t even know existed. No one likes a snitch, and most problems can be solved with words over paperwork.

Duty is actually important, because someone needs to be sober in the barracks while everyone else is not. A pack of 150 Marines without any supervision is a dangerous thing, and I’m sure duty was invented for that exact reason.

So the next time your buddy is on duty, buy him a Monster and see how he’s holding up throughout the day. Even the duty needs a friend.

On a side note, I’m really sorry to have cancelled yesterday’s book signing in San Angelo. It was a pure shitshow at DFW on Sunday and I spent about 20 hours traveling between Chicago and Texas, only to end up back in LA at the end of it. The short story is that the flight to San Angelo got cancelled due to some horrendous weather and a middle finger from American Airlines. The next flight wasn’t until Monday night, after the book signing. Without a ton of options I had to cut my losses and head back to LA (I couldn’t afford to just stay in Texas indefinitely). My publisher and the store are currently trying to figure out options for rescheduling, and I’m really sorry for any inconvenience all of this might have caused!

On another note, thank you to everyone who came out to see me in Chicago on Saturday! As well, thank you to Kim Barker and the great people at the Chicago Tribune Lit Fest for setting it all up. I was pleasantly surprised by how amazing Chicago was, especially with all the horror stories in the headlines lately. I’d definitely go back.

THIS SATURDAY you can find me at the Barnes & Noble in Oceanside! I’ll be there starting at 2pm I believe, I hope to see a ton of high and tights and digital camouflaged backpacks.

If you’re a Marine, you probably saw the Commandant’s new tattoo regulations, designed to ease up on the Amos-era restrictions that were put in place a few years back. Now, Marines are able to have just a little bit more freedom in their choice of bodily inks in areas previously unapproved. You still can’t get a full sleeve, but at least it’s better than it was.

You can read up all about the new regulations here.

When I first enlisted there really weren’t any strict tattoo regulations. Some of the best Marines I ever met had full-sleeves full of skulls, spiderwebs and other totally rad shit that you most likely just wouldn’t see on a Marine today. As an artist myself, I don’t personally have any issue with tattoos wherever you want them (though I could see maybe not on the face or something as being a more than reasonable rule). The effort the Corps is making is to maintain a professional look for Marines, while also trying to ensure that Marines don’t make it difficult for themselves to find professional work in the future.

In all reality though, I doubt most infantry Marines with a sleeve full of skulls, spiderwebs, MOS numbers and wizards and shit is really looking for work as a Wells Fargo bank teller post-Marine Corps. Additionally, sleeves can usually be covered up with, well, sleeves. Anecdotally, my brother happens to have two full arms’ worth of ink, but works as a funeral director. He wears long sleeves to work.

In any case, I applaud the step in the right direction. It is, after all, the military. You have to expect some rules you might not like, but this is better than it was.

In other news, I’ll be hanging out with Sebastian Junger for a live talk tonight in Santa Monica if you’re around!

Otherwise, look for me in Chicago this weekend and San Angelo on Monday. I’ll be doing a book signing at Oceanside Barnes & Noble next weekend as well!

*EDIT*

I’ll be at the Chicago Tribune Printer’s Row Literary Festival on Saturday speaking on a panel! Come see me, details here.

If there’s one movie that polarizes Marines, it’s Jarhead. Anthony Swofford’s explorative tale on the meandering life of a Scout Sniper during the first Gulf War is sure to spark a lively debate across the barracks any time it’s brought up. Many Marines feel as though Swofford is a “whiny bitch” and that Jarhead is the most boring of the war films about Marines.

For my part, I loved the original Jarhead film and I still do. It serves as one of the only realistic representations of life in the Marine Corps, rather than just the shallow action-packed war-porn that people expect out of movies about “war.” It showed a Marine that was disenchanted and disgruntled, rather than the cliche motivators you normally get any time someone brings up the Marine Corps. It was an exploration of the state of being in a post Vietnam Marine Corps that no one had ever really seen before.

With the release of Jarhead 2: Field of Fire and this week’s Jarhead 3: The Siege, Universal has hilariously completely missed the point of the first film and proceeded to shit out two trash films straight-to-video with an apparent intent to completely destroy any legacy the original had. These movies are so bad, so utterly lacking in the nuance and subtlety of the first film, that you’ll have no choice but to assume that there is some genuine malicious intent against Anthony Swofford, Jake Gyllenhaal, or Sam Mendes.

These sequels are complete trash, but not even in the good way that a Cinemax softcore porn is trash. At least in something like that, there’s copious amounts of titties and simulated sex to distract you from how bad everything else is. Jarhead 2 and 3 are hollow shells of what could have been. They’re the rebound fucks of a longterm relationship come to an end; leaving you to feel empty and ashamed of yourself as you put your clothes back on awkwardly explain that you’re not looking for anything serious.

In other news, June and July are really busy months over at Terminal Lance. I’ll be making appearances in a few different places, so here are the details:

• Sebastian Junger and myself will be in Santa Monica on June 7th (this Tuesday) for a live talk! Get tickets and details here.
• Chicago Tribune Printers Row Lit Festival on Saturday, June 11th! I’ll be on a panel about representing the contemporary war experience. Details here.
• Book signing at Hastings in San Angelo, TX on June 13th! If you’re in the area come by and say hi and get your book signed! Starts at 1700.
• Oceanside Barnes & Noble book signing on June 18th! If you’re in Camp Pendleton, wade through the boots in Oceanside to come say what’s up! Starts at 1400.
• Marine’s Memorial Club in San Francisco on July 7th! Super excited to be featured as a guest in their author lineup, I’ll be speaking and hanging out for the night!
• San Diego Comic Con on July 21st! I’ll be on a panel about graphic novels as a medium.

I’ll also be in Portland and Corvallis in July for book signings, the details to follow. If you can make it to any of these events, you should! It should be a lot of fun!

Lastly, I really want to throw a shoutout to CBS for putting together such a great piece on Terminal Lance. If you missed it, check it out here.

I mean what else do they do?

I don’t normally do comics on Monday’s, but today is a very special Monday! Today is Memorial Day.

I’m not going to sit here and guilt-trip you into being miserable on your day off, because I don’t think that’s what our fallen brothers and sisters would have wanted from us. In my humble opinion as a Marine, I like to think that those that gave the ultimate sacrifice would want us to carry on and enjoy ourselves without them. After all, it is their sacrifices that allow us the freedoms we have, so shouldn’t we celebrate those freedoms?

For my part, I know that if I wouldn’t have made it back from Iraq all those years ago, I wouldn’t be sitting up in heaven wishing my friends and family were posting angry Facebook statuses on my behalf. I don’t know, that’s just not my thing. From what I know of Marines, I think they would rather see you drink a beer, get laid, and light something on fire today rather than mope around feeling sorry for them.

Still, this day is important, as it gives us all a chance to honor and reflect on those great men and women that never made it home. Certainly no one would fault you for taking a bit of time today to remember those heroes of the past…

…Even those from the Coast Guard.

But for real, Marines get kind of fucked over in heaven. That contract is for eternity.

I’ll admit that this strip definitely won’t apply to everyone that reads it. Very few Marines end up in the predicament of being the designated art-guy of the battalion, which can mean basically anything depending on what needs to get done. Need a mural painted? A T-shirt? A company logo?

Go get the art-guy, he’ll do it. I saw him drawing some sick tattoos for people one time. He can do anything. Who cares if he’s never painted before?

Regardless, if you take anything away from this strip, it’s this: if you’re good at something, don’t tell anyone.

For the most part I actually didn’t mind doing that stuff, it was always cool to see my sketchbook drawings end up as the company logo or something on the back of the T-shirts of other Marines. Additionally, I have to admit that “Artist Recruit” is actually the single best billet you can snag in boot camp. If you can scrape together artwork on a cover block or a range flag, definitely raise your hand when they ask if anyone in the squad bay can do art.

After boot camp though? Never tell anyone.

This strip is pretty random, but lately I have to remind myself that it’s okay to just do a funny random strip and not worry about inserting some grand message into it. Sometimes you just want to draw a dick in the third panel.

On a sidenote, I’ll be back in Santa Monica at Hi De Ho Comics for a signing TOMORROW! Come on by and say what’s up! It should be a lot of fun. Have I mentioned that The White Donkey has been on the New York Times best seller list for 4 weeks in a row now? If you haven’t gotten it yet, you should.

Growing up as a millennial, it was common to have grandparents or elderly that had served in Korea or even World War II. “The Greatest Generation,” as they’re known, are lauded with a natural aura of respect (and rightly so). There’s no question in their heroism and deeds of the time, answering the nation’s call to arms in a war with great purpose.

Our generation is not them. Our war is not their war.

That is of course not to say that we are also not a great generation. I think there is a lot to be said of the fact that we are a wartime generation of all-volunteer service members, answering the call of the nation on our own accord. Much like the millennial generation itself, our war was apathetic and meandering, and often without purpose. The honor and prestige of our grandfathers were often not to be found in the mess of our 13 year war in the middle east, the ripples of which likely to subsist in the region for another generation or two.

But we still went.

History will ultimately tell the tale of the valor of longest war in American history, but I often wonder how the veterans will tell it 30 or 40 years from now. When we are the old men in the big, pinned hats, will we have the same respect for our own experience as those that look up to us.

Anyway, this is actually a previously published Marine Corps Times strip. Today has been a hassle and a half, but the good news is we might have another book signing event coming up this weekend on Saturday! Stand by for the details.

How do I reach these keeds?

All over the Marine Corps, Company Commanders and leaders everywhere are trying to figure out how they can reach their Marines and improve the morale of their units. The answer is usually pretty straightforward, but seems to always elude the command.

This is how you end up with Family Fun Day. Instead of respecting your personal space, the command will continue to shove its overlording presence into your 48 hours of liberty for no apparent reason. The only saving grace is finally getting to see what your Company Commander’s wife looks like. (She’ll never be what you expected, she’s always either way out of his league or the exact opposite)

 

It’s not all bad though, sometimes it’s easy to just blame the parents. The command is put into an extraordinary circumstance of being responsible for the wellbeing and happiness of hundreds of young men (and now women). Unfortunately there’s no easy way to make everyone happy, on either side.

On a side note, thank you to everyone for your massive outpouring of support for The White Donkey. It is now on week #3 of being #2 on the New York Times Bestseller list for hard cover graphic novels. It is making waves, and it’s because of you guys. We have some events and signings coming up next month, so if you haven’t picked up a book yet you can here:

For how much you read and hear about “bloated” military spending, the life of the average Marine certainly doesn’t reflect that. Especially during training.

“Notional” is another word commonly used to describe “pretend.” I’m assuming they use this word because it doesn’t make it feel like you’re 5 years old, but the result is still the same. Pretend patrols around pretend enemies with pretend weapons, pretend events and pretend gear. You have to have an imagination to be an effective Marine. The only thing financially bloated about the average day in the infantry is how much Marines spend of their own paychecks on alcohol after hours in their run-down barracks.

Some of the best training you could have gotten was during evolutions like Mojave Viper, where they actually had Iraqi (or Afghani) role-players that spoke real Arabic and made you feel immersed in the environment. These events were few and far between, but they really prepared you for realistic encounters abroad and beyond.

Of course, with the way everyone talks about cutting the military and reducing its size, you’d think Marines were living it up in lavish hotels and smashing tax-payer funded hookers on the regular (this is actually how the Air Force is).

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we need more money in the military, so Marines can smash tax-payer funded hookers in lavish hotels.

To be honest it’s kind of a tossup between these two. Some days you need that spicy, conceptually horrible jalapeño cheese spread and other times you need some delicious chocolate peanut butter. Though, I would happily substitute the chocolate peanut butter for a pack of Peanut Butter M&M’s, cause those shits is dank as fuck.

It’s no secret that I’m a huge Captain America fan, and naturally I went and saw the Thursday premiere of Captain America: Civil War last night. My loyalty to the good Captain can be measured in the amount of Captain America T-shirts I own (7) and the amount of Captain America posters I have hanging in my house (4). I’d side with Steve Rogers over Tony Stark any day of the week, and if you’re team Iron Man you need to get the fuck out of my face.

I’m going to start off by saying that I think Captain America: Winter Soldier is legitimately the best movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I might be biased, but it was absolutely the most interesting, serious and intelligent film out of the whole bunch.

Civil War did not change that opinion.

With that said, it was immensely entertaining to watch. With the exception of a missing Hulk and Thor, this was basically an Avengers movie more than it was Captain America. More specifically, you could even argue that it was a 4th Iron Man movie just as much as it was a Captain America film. Either way, I felt like it was somewhat unfortunate that the film didn’t get as personal into Steve Rogers’ world as I would have liked. The narrative often leaves him and focuses on what Tony Stark is doing, or Black Widow, or the Vision, or even Spider-Man.

As a massive Captain fan I did admittedly feel a little cheated out of a real Captain America story, but I enjoyed the ride nonetheless. The spectacle of watching 10 different super heroes go at it (somewhat playfully) was brilliant, and I have to admit that Peter Parker kind of stole the show (in the best possible way).

Overall I’d give Captain America: Civil War 8.5 out of 10 fucks. Should you spend your hard-earned libo money on a ticket this weekend? Yeah, probably.

I find a lot of things frustrating, but one of the most annoying things I come across while managing this monstrosity of a comic strip and social media page are the “old Corps” guys who just can’t stand all of the shenanigans coming from these “New Corps” Marines. Back in their Corps, they were too busy getting into fist fights with body-building hookers, hiking over 700 miles each week, and just generally being real Marines (during peacetime no less) to engage in such degrading behavior to their beloved Corps.

Unfortunately for them, it’s not their Corps anymore.

Culture changes, even the Marine Corps. With that said, I would argue the culture actually hasn’t changed much at all. The only thing that has changed is the advent of portable cameras connected to a near limitless social media environment. The silliness of the every day military life is no longer relegated to the dark corners of the smoke pit or the back of the squad bay. It is on full display, instantly accessible to the public and the world.

Though, to be honest, what I find even more annoying are the people (generally the same people) that send me photos of Marines being normal fucking people and expecting me to “put them on blast” in front of hundreds of thousands. Who gives a shit if some 19 year old kid takes a selfie in his uniform in front of a mirror? I know I don’t, and there’s literally zero precedence to suggest that kid should be shamed in front of the entire Marine Corps.

If anything, we should be encouraging stupid behavior amongst Marines.

War is awful. These silly, fleeting moments are the only thing that keep us going most of the time. They’re the only thing that keep us human.

On a lighter note, I want to send a huge thank you to everyone that came out to see me on Saturday over at Hi De Ho Comics in Santa Monica over the weekend! It was so great to meet so many of you, and even some familiar faces I recognized from the internet over the years. Your support means so much to me and it was extremely humbling to talk to the over 300 people that came out. I also want to send a huge thank you to Moris over at Hi De Ho Comics for all the hospitality and making it such a great night for everyone!

We’re currently trying to put together some more signings all over the place, so if you run a store and would like to host us please let me know.

The White Donkey is officially a New York Times best seller. If you haven’t gotten it yet, you probably should…

Lastly, you can listen to a pretty rad podcast from We Are The Mighty starring yours truly, talking about all kinds of cool stuff here.