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Terminal Lance #333 “Oh Baby”


Is there anything more ubiquitously military than baby wipes? A Marine Corps PX is probably the only place in the world you’ll see legions of 18-24 year old males buying aisles of baby wipes with literally no intention of using them on a baby. Baby wipes serve many practical applications for Marines. They make a great alternative to bathing while you’re stuck in the field; they do a wonderful job of cleaning the carbon out of your rifle’s chamber; and you can use them to comfortably wipe your ass (not a baby’s) in a port-a-shitter.

Really, the only thing Marines don’t use them for is cleaning babies.

If you’re ever sending a care package to Marines overseas, a safe bet to always include in the package is baby wipes. There’s a million ways and reasons to use them, it can never go wrong (as long as the package also has cookies, porn, and a Nintendo 3DS with Mario Kart).

In honor of this being strip #333, I want to give a shout out to my old battalion, 3rd Battalion 3rd Marines. “America’s Battalion” is where I grew up and where I owe all of my crazy experiences in garrison and both of my Iraq deployments. Hawaii was one of the best places I’ve ever had the luxury of living, and I really miss it daily. Who knows, maybe when my balls hang to my knees I’ll find myself retiring in a beach house in Lanikai.

Aloha, Hawaii Marines, soak it up while you’re there because it really doesn’t get any better than that.

Infantry Marine turned Combat Artist turned animator turned bestselling author turned dad.

Terminal Lance #332 “A Haiku”

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