Terminal Lance #332 “A Haiku”
July 8, 2014
If there’s one offense that is universally unforgivable amongst Staff NCO’s across the globe, it’s hands in pockets. I’m not sure why this is, but my own theory is that during the Staff selection process, they put small scorpions in the pockets of every promising Staff Sergeant to-be. They’re vehemently trained not to ever place their hands in their pockets, for if they do they face the wrath of the small, venomous arachnid. It is this grueling training process that leads them to lashing out at young Lance Corporals for the offending act at any mere sight of it. I often wonder if they’re worried more about breaking some vague and obscure Marine Corps Order, or simply genuinely worried for your safety at the hands of the scorpion menace.
“No, don’t do it! There could be a scorpion in there!” is often the intent behind “EY MOTHERFUCKER GET UR FUCKIN’ HANDS OUTTA UR POCKET YA UNDERSTAND ME RAH WARFIGHTER.”
Okay I really don’t know where I’m going with this, but you haven’t been in the Marine Corps until you’ve been belligerently screamed at for something as simple as keeping your hands warm or even reaching for your cell phone. In some ways, I can actually appreciate the continued efforts of professionalism in the garrison environment and in front of the crowd. Of course Marines need to look their best, but when you’re in the infantry and you’re spending 4 days out of the week sleeping in a bivvy sack under the rain, where you place your hands becomes a non-issue in the practicality of the moment.
I actually went a couple of different ways with this comic, I originally had an entire conversation of Haiku poems, but it was a little weird and kind of starting to lose the point.
Anyway, I hope all of you had a good long weekend full of fireworks and alcohol. This is the greatest country in the world and I decided to take the day off on Friday in celebration of such a fact. Also, sometimes I just need a day or two. Also, if you haven’t checked out the new Terminal Lance store you should definitely do so. There’s some new swag to buy that we could never do with the old store, so to hell with Personal Financial Management MCI’s and spend that hard-earned dough on a new Terminal Lance T-shirt or something.
An admin note: with the recent story about The White Donkey I’ve been getting a lot of questions and emails, even concerns, especially from Kickstarter backers. If you were a backer and you haven’t received your stuff yet, please don’t message the Facebook page, messages get buried really quick. Please send an email to email@example.com and we’ll get you squared away. Also be advised that The White Donkey is not finished yet, but you’ll be the first to know when it is.