Terminal Lance #62 “Why We Hate CIF”
September 6, 2010
For as long as I remember being a Marine, I remember having a hate/hate relationship with CIF (Consolidated Issue Facility)–AKA: Satan’s gear locker. CIF is run by civilians, and it’s a pain in everyone’s ass. The system for losing gear with CIF is so mind-numbingly tedious and complicated that they themselves will encourage you to steal what you’re missing from someone else.
I am not full of any shits on this. When I was checking out to go on Terminal, I was missing those black glove shells. You know? The black glove shells? The ones that you’ve probably never used? Yeah, those things are about $30. Money be damned, I take full responsibility for losing them. 4 years in the Marine Corps infantry with 2 deployments to Iraq will see some gear come and go. However, when I told the receptionist that I was checking out and I would be on Terminal in three days time; his actual suggestion from me was that I “get them from someone”. Well, that was after I told him I didn’t have time to jump through the hoops suggested in today’s strip.
To give the employees of CIF some credit though, I doubt the obstacle course of paperwork is their fault. I’m assuming the system itself was thought up by the same great minds that decided your hands can’t go in your pockets when it’s 40 degrees outside and windy.
Outside of CIF, with a new week comes a new print on sale for you all. A high res, glossy print of Terminal Lance #10, autographed by the creator is available now on eBay. There are only 10 prints for sale! Limit one per customer, and yes, I can ship to FPO/AP addresses for you salt dogs overseas. I think this print is long overdue, something you can display proudly in your barracks room during field day inspections. Let First Sergeant know you already know you won’t get promoted, and you don’t care, by displaying this with pride. View the prints for sale here.
Something else that it long overdue is me posting these photos from my home battalion, 3rd Battalion 3rd Marines, currently in Afghanistan. A couple of months ago, Combat Artist Michael Fay spent a month overseas with them and brought back some Terminal Lance photos to share. These are straight from downrange, Marines throwing up that hand signal (slightly modified). I’m glad to see that Marines everywhere are enjoying the comic, and that they’re just as proud as I was to be a Terminal Lance.
Unfortunately I don’t have full caption info for these Marines, but if you spot a buddy on there feel free to email it to me and I’ll throw it up here.
Remember, being a “Terminal Lance” doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be a Lance Corporal. You just have to be a Marine. A Marine that can see through the bullshit. I’ve met plenty of good honest SNCO’s in my time that I would consider Terminal Lances. Any Marine can be one, so please, don’t let the rank fool you. Throw up that hand signal and be proud!
On that note, I’ll see you all on Friday.