Terminal Lance #517 “Boot Camp: Medical Bench Commandos”

When you arrive aboard the beautiful Marine Corps Recruit Depot of San Diego or Parris Island, you’ll inevitably make a trip over to Medical at some point during your short recruit tenure. There you will find the cretins of the medical bench. These pale, broken and sickly recruits are frequent flyers of the bench, and seem to know all of the secrets and life hacks to getting a medical discharge, should you require it.

Well, they say they do at least, but it hasn’t seemed to help them much. It doesn’t seem to stop them from insisting that they do. What’s funny is that these guys are so ubiquitous, that my recruiter even warned me about these guys before I got there. I’ll admit, I had every wish of getting the fuck out of that depot the day I got there.

But try these methods at your own peril, for should it not go in your favor, you could end up MRP (Medical Recovery Platoon) for an extended stay. As they say during your orientation, the fastest way out of boot camp is simply to graduate on time. Stick it out, get yelled at, play the game, beat the game, unlock the hidden outfits, etc.