As a Senior Lance Corporal, when I hated someone, I made them stand post. It’s because of this basic logic that I refuse to believe the common trope that God in fact loves Marines. Gunny R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket would have you believe otherwise, but it just doesn’t add up.
If God loves Marines so much, why does he make them stand post when they get to heaven? In fact, Marines are the only branch that has to stand post in the afterlife, as if the life wasn’t bad enough. It’s common knowledge that Marines already have it worse than any other branch. The fitness standards are tougher, the gear is shittier, the barracks are the worst. That’s either some pretty tough love, or it’s no love at all.
Speaking of god hating me, there won’t be any new comics next week because I’ll be balls deep in the snow at the Mountain Warfare Training Center in Bridgeport, spending the week with the Marines there. Rumor has it I may even take over the official Marine Corps snapchat account… but you’ll just have to stay tuned to find out. Follow Terminal Lance on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook for updates! Click the social buttons below.