There’s an omnipotent force in the Marine Corps that all Marines spend their days desperately avoiding:
The Green Weenie.
The Green Weenie will fuck you at every turn, so you must be on your guard at all times, and your butthole remain tight. Though He is powerful, He is not infallible. You can dupe the Green Weenie with some simple tricks, like putting your top pick for duty station at the bottom of your list.
As long as the Green Weenie thinks its fucking you over, its fury will be satisfied.
I actually really wanted to get stationed at Camp Pendleton when I was on my way out of SOI, since I had close ties to the southern California area. The Green Weenie sensed this though, and decided to put me on an island 3000 miles out in the middle of the Pacific. In retrospect, it’s hard to complain about being forced to go to Hawaii, but that didn’t stop me at the time.
You see, when you’re leaving your MOS school, they let you have the brief illusion of choice by letting you fill out a piece of paper that says where you would like to be stationed permanently after you graduate. I’m pretty sure they just throw these in the trash, because why would the Marine Corps give a shit what a PFC wants?
In other news, I’m really excited to announce that I’ve just signed a new publishing agreement with Little, Brown & Company to put out the official Terminal Lance Ultimate Omnibus! This is a collection of over 800 Terminal Lance comics–all of the comics from the website plus 300 comics previously published in the Marine Corps Times newspaper! Plus original bonus content you won’t find anywhere else! It is the ultimate Terminal Lance fan service and I’m super excited about it.
Look forward to more details soon!
In the meantime…
is we fuckin up North Korea or is we not?
— Terminal Lance (@TerminalLance) August 8, 2017