Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance #467 “Relativity II”

March 28, 2017

They don’t call us devil dogs for no reason–Marines actually age in dog years. Every year in the Marine Corps is the equivalent of 7 years in normal, Earth spacetime.

There’s a lot of science behind this, so I’ll try to keep it simple. Basically, the amount of fuckery within the Marine Corps contains so much mass, it warps spacetime considerably for those inside of it. This is not too different from a black hole, and as we saw in Interstellar, it can fuck shit up.

interstellar-movie-wormhole

The Marine Corps as viewed from an outside observer

Sorry, I didn’t mean to get too technical today, but this is important stuff.

Don’t think that you’re immune to these effects as a junior enlisted Marine either. I recall returning home from my first deployment to Iraq and finding that I had aged considerably even as a Lance Corporal. While most will EAS at the ripe age of 22-23, you’ll find that you look and feel about 45.

It’s good for picking up cougars.