Terminal Lance #455 “Grass Week”
January 27, 2017
Grass Week is one of those things that comes around every year that you’re not really sure why you’re doing it, but you do it anyway because you were fucking told to, you piece of shit… Sorry, my inner NCO came out there.
For those not in the know, Grass Week is when you and 30 of your best friends gather around a white barrel and wish death upon it, firing pretend bullets at the pretend targets painted on it (also colloquially known as snapping in). Another word for pretend in the Corps is notional. So, notionally, you’re annihilating the lone remaining member of the Ancient Barrel Army against their rotund onslaught.
I was never really sure what 5 days of this was supposed to accomplish, but grass week in fact requires that you spend 5 business days staring at a white barrel and pretending not to text on your phone the entire time. I suppose it makes sense in boot camp–when there’s good odds you’ve never held a rifle in your life–but for the experienced marksman, it’s just a skate week of doing essentially nothing.
Still, it’s good to know that Marines will be ready for anything… Even the Ancient Barrel Uprising.
Hopefully it’s not as horrific as the Moon Spider Rebellion. (Though, to be frank, the Moon Spiders had good reason to rise up)
On a side note, I want to give pause today to mention International Holocaust Remembrance Day. It has never been a secret that I am a Jew. I’ve mentioned it in the past and I have no interest in hiding it. In boot camp I was one of 2 recruits in my platoon attending Shabbat services every Friday night. It is with a great sense of solemnity that I hope we never forget the genocide of 6 million Jews during World War II. America is the greatest nation on earth, and I am proud to be part of this amazing country that defeated (with the Allies) the Nazis. While the Marines specifically were more engaged with fighting the Japanese during WWII, it is in the spirit of the veterans of that great war, and the heroism they showed fighting against great evil that fills me with honor having served in that same United States military. My service will always remain in that shadow of greatness, and I am okay with that. I truly hope no one ever has to fight that fight again.
Today is a day we remember atrocity, so that it may never happen again.