Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance “Females in the Infantry II”

December 4, 2015

On Thursday, Defense Secretary Carter made the historic announcement that women were to be allowed into combat MOS’ with no exceptions. This comes despite the Marine Corps’ own studies and recommendations against fully integrating women into combat units.

Though, in my honest opinion, we won’t be fully equal until women are forced to get shit haircuts every week.

In any case, I congratulate women across the Corps! Now you too can experience the shitty life of being a Marine Corps infantryman–otherwise known as “the suck.” Enjoy the majesty of pointless formations, being treated like a child, and having to spend literally hours cleaning your rifle for no apparent reason while you’re in the rear. When you’re on deployment, you’ll get the added wonders of patrolling in 80 lbs of shit literally every day while trying to avoid getting killed, all while your cammies chafe your sides and inner thighs in the 130 degree middle eastern heat.

Have fun.

Naturally, this decision was met with a lot of anger and outrage from many Marines who simply disagree with the decision. There’s legitimate concern, but most importantly, I think most Marines simply feel like there’s no reason to fix what isn’t broken. For hundreds of years, the US military has operated with an all-male infantry and we’ve done pretty okay with that. Adding women to the mix simply complicates things on a logistical level when it doesn’t need to be. As well, are there actually even women clamoring to enter the ranks of the 03?

I think there’s a few valid arguments against the decision, but it’s happening whether you like it or not. I don’t see the point of being outraged over it, though I think many of my fans would prefer I pander to their anger. I simply don’t have the time or energy to really care, and neither should you. The Marine Corps will adapt and overcome, as it always does.

In the end, I don’t think this is going to change things very much at all. If anything, it will force universal standards across the Corps rather than the currently lax PFT for females. No one wants to see a weaker Marine Corps because of this, but I highly doubt that’s going to happen. In reality, the majority of women that make the cut into the infantry are not going to be an average 120 lb girl.

They’ll have a 3 inch, veiny clitoris and you’ll probably be afraid of them.

In any case, I’m curious to see what happens.

Welcome to the suck, ladies.