Terminal Lance #366 “God Loves Marines II”

February 17, 2015

Does anyone else think Marines get kind of a raw deal when they die? It’s like you spend your entire enlistment putting up with bullshit, then god forbid you end up at St. Peter’s door, where he sends you to CIF to get your new gear.

What the fuck, man? How come none of the other branches have to deal with this shit when they die? Also, do you think maybe Marines have to do like one enlistment in heaven? Like there’s Marines that keep re-upping in heaven and then there’s also short-timer Lance Corporals that don’t give a fuck. I only ask because if I died and (presumably) went to heaven, I wonder if I’d see Marines wearing MARPAT and plate carriers or if I’d see dudes standing post looking like this:


More importantly though, why does heaven need Marines to guard it? Do you think there’s insurgent demons regularly trying to attack from Hell?

I really hope Marines only have to do singular enlistments once they get up to heaven though, cause really, it’s kind of a dick move to make them stand post for the rest of eternity. I bet there’s a ton of dick drawings on the walls in heaven too.

Anyway, these are random musings. I’m not particularly religious in the first place.