Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance “Current Events”

December 5, 2014

I’m sure most people reading this are aware of the recent warnings courtesy of the FBI regarding ISIS targeting service members at home and abroad. Of course, if you’re anything like me, you’ve been way too distracted lately with all of the awesome coming out of Hollywood to really notice. Sorry, ISIS, maybe you should try again in a few weeks when I have time to give a shit about you.

Besides, you’ve been wanting to kill us for like 15 years now, it’s not anything new.

WHAT??? ISIS WANTS TO KILL US FILTHY AMERICANS???

We know.

No one cares.

In more important news: holy shit, did you guys see the new Star Wars trailer? For the first time in a long time I’m actually super excited about Star Wars again. As many of you know, I’m a pretty big Star Wars fan, and it’s actually nice to see something new that doesn’t have the smell of George Lucas on it. People were rather skeptical when Disney announced they were purchasing Lucas Films (and in turn, Star Wars), but I think it was for the best. George Lucas had been sitting on this beloved franchise for the last 30 years with not much to show for it other than perpetually altering the originals with every new edition, as well as three subpar prequels which not even Natalie Portman’s gorgeous ass could save. At this point I don’t think it even matters if you like JJ Abrams or not (I do), all that matters is something new is being done with Star Wars, and it looks awesome.

I talked about Jurassic World before, so let me just talk about the Terminator Genisys trailer that was released yesterday for a moment. I’m not the hugest Terminator fan, but like any male between the ages of 3 and 41 I have seen all of the movies and keep hoping they’ll do something profound with the franchise. I don’t know if this is the film that will do it, but seeing young Arnold Schwarzenegger computer animated always gives me a good laugh. Plus, Arnold is gangster as fuck so I’m always happy to see him in new stuff.

Me and Arnold on "Sabotage"

Max and Arnold on “Sabotage”

Here’s the Terminator Genisys trailer: