Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance “Canine Naming Conventions” (Marine Corps Times)

August 8, 2014

I know I’ve said it a million times, but making Lieutenants the butt end of comic strips here is so easy its hard to resist. They’re universally despised by basically everyone. Senior officers hate them because they’re boots, Staff NCO’s hate them because they’re boots (but are in charge of them) and junior enlisted hate them because… well… they’re boots (but equally in charge of them). Okay, obviously not all Lieutenants are boots, but a lot of the time they are and it is frustrating. So full of enthusiasm and pride, the Marine Corps having yet to suck the hope from their lives. I suppose it would be harmless if they were like most boot PFC’s, who are completely unable to express their inherent motivation beyond the form of a shitty high-and-tight haircut. However, since they are in charge of you, you’ll often find yourself indulging their weird egos with moto runs and stupid exercises they learned at OCS.

No one cares, sir. Hurry up so I can go back to my room and shower my hangover away in peace.

As you may have guessed by the title, today’s strip is actually one that was previously published in the Marine Corps Times newspaper. Well, more or less, this is actually the unedited version that didn’t make the cut. The published one changed the punchline to “idiot.” While it is an equally deserving rip, it does lack the gusto of ‘douchebag.‘ Finding a good name for your dog is important, since it will become his primary sense of identity for the rest of his short life. In real life, I named my dog Charlie.

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Charlie the Dog

I guess I didn’t really have a profound reason for the name, but it seemed like a good fit and he seems happy with it. I also just wanted a reason to put a photo of my dog up, because all of this Iraq business has me down.

Well, not so much down as immensely frustrated.