Terminal Lance #306 “The Way of our People”
January 31, 2014
If there’s one thing Lance Corporals are good at, it’s
getting really drunk and doing something stupid like marrying a hooker for BAH blaming the Marine Corps for pretty much everything. I know, this is weird coming from me–a guy that runs a comic strip called Terminal Lance–but it’s totally true. There’s an excuse for everything, and you know what people say about excuses: something about buttholes. Pretty much everything wrong in your life can be related back to the Marine Corps in some way, it’s like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon but it’s not as funny and usually total bullshit. It’s a unique talent, I think Lance Corporals have the market cornered when it comes to bitching and making excuses. If you can find one demographic that outmatches a disgruntled infantry Lance Corporal in either of these categories, I’ll personally give you a pat on the balls. (No I won’t)
In all seriousness, I know how easy it is to look at the Marine Corps with disdain and hostility. After all, it can really suck sometimes. Like, really, genuinely fucking suck. At the end of the day though, you signed up for it and in one way or another you got exactly what you asked for. I look back on the time I enlisted, my recruiter told me, “It’s going to really suck sometimes. You’ll hate it sometimes,” and it’s not that I didn’t believe him, it’s that my dumb ass was like, “Yeah that’s exactly what I want.” I guess I just didn’t realize that the parts that suck were actually going to really suck. Naivety at its finest, but you live and learn.
At the end of the day all that really matters is that you take responsibility for yourself and your own decisions. I didn’t re-enlist because I did not enjoy being in the Marine Corps. I certainly didn’t hate it (and I still don’t), even though sometimes I thought I did, but it really just wasn’t for me, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Moral of the story: don’t make excuses, because… buttholes… or something.