Terminal Lance #270 “Backed Up”
June 11, 2013
I’ve previously discussed the internal consequences of eating nothing but MRE’s, but this is still painfully true. To be honest, MRE’s aren’t all that bad. I’ve known quite a few MRE “chefs” in my time that can put together some pretty delicious combinations of the packaged food-like products they feed you in the field. The main problem with eating them is the fact that they “back you up” quite a bit. While there are some benefits to this–such as not needing to use the potty during training–the feeling of not shitting for three or four days is actually kind of awful. You just feel it.
And not in a good way.
There’s a lot to be said about MRE’s, much more than one comic or blog post can cover. These things are made with the utmost quantity of preservatives. However, despite popular belief, the shelf life of the MRE isn’t actually 10 years or whatever ridiculous number people come up with. Generally, an MRE is good for about a year. I’ve actually had bad MRE’s before in the field, ones that were sitting in supply a bit too long before being passed out to us poor grunts. What were supposed to be “Shortbread Cookies” turned out to taste closer to paint or bleach, as the amalgam of chemicals and other preservatives had surely gone bad by then.
You know it’s probably not good when you get an MRE menu item that is no longer in production. If your first thought is, “I thought they stopped making this MRE?”
You’re probably right.