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Terminal Lance #260 “In the Wild”


It’s a generalized pro-tip of sorts to just never take your woman to the barracks. Nothing good will come of it, she doesn’t need to be there and unless she was in desperate need to get hit on endlessly by swaths of unsexed young males, she probably didn’t want to go in the first place. Generally, if a female is anywhere near the barracks you should probably stay away from her just on the principle of the following possibilities:

  • She’s with a Marine in your unit.
  • If she is single and at the barracks, she probably has herpes and/or HIV AIDS.
  • She knows what barracks are.

I mention that last bullet because if she even knows what a barracks is, and is single, she’s probably not something you want to put your penis inside of. I remember the occasional barracks rat coming by, getting gored out by whatever Marine she happened to show up with, in addition to whatever other Marines decided to hop in. Generally speaking, a barracks isn’t a safe environment for any woman. Upon entering the seedy Lance Corporal Underground, she’ll be immediately eyed and gawked at by the 300+ Marines in the building. At least 10 of those Marines will make some kind of effort to talk to her, regardless of who she’s with.

It can be the most innocent thing in the world, but any female in the barracks will be bombarded with Marines trying to figure out who she is. You’re better off never letting her see the real world that you live in. It’s common fact that Marines will try to fuck anything, so practice some proper Operational Risk Management and just prevent a disaster before it occurs.

Infantry Marine turned Combat Artist turned animator turned bestselling author turned dad.

Terminal Lance #259 “Inside the Armory”

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