Every platoon has at least one Mexican that can cut hair. I’m sorry if that’s an offensive statement, but it’s just science. Alternatively, it might be a black guy. For whatever reason, white people just can’t cut hair. I’m sure you’ve all seen the Marine with the white girlfriend come in on Monday morning with a fucked up ‘do, having to explain in embarrassing admission: “Sorry, Staff Sergeant, my girlfriend cut my hair… she’s white.”
When I was at CAX in 2007 (Mojave Viper at 29 Palms), we all had to get haircuts by order of the company commander. Many Marines didn’t want to wait in the battalion-sized line at the little Camp Wilson PX, so we set up an impromptu barber shop in our hooch. At the helm of the clippers? A Hispanic Marine particularly adept with the stylings of human hair.
But that wasn’t even the best part! That honor is reserved for when our black First Sergeant came in and said “Move over, motherfucker,” and began giving barracks cuts to Marines with a skill and technique typically only seen from flamboyantly gay professional hair stylists.
To be fair, I’ve also never seen an Asian Marine cutting hair, so it’s not just white people that lack finesse with a pair of clippers. It’s entirely possible that they just don’t want to be found out, though, and keep to themselves their skills.
In other news, I’m thinking I need a day off we need another user submitted Terminal Lance strip contest!
The winner of the contest will receive an autographed print OF THEIR CHOICE as well as a zombie Marine sticker! Here’s the rules:
- Deadline is Monday, March 18th 2013 @ 23:59 (11:59 PM)
- You must use the template, click here to download!
- It must be your own artwork! No rage comic/internet memes
- By entering the contest you agree to have your comic published on the site with no compensation
- I pick the winner, the winner will be published as the Tuesday comic strip
That’s basically it, it’s pretty self explanatory. Download the template and make a comic! I don’t really care how you do it, as long as it’s your own artwork and it’s funny. Good luck!