I don’t blame Abe for drawing this conclusion. After all, how could it be that the MARPAT cammie pants consistently tear in the crotch on every single Marine ever in the history of MARPAT. It must be by design!
This is a very common thing amongst Marines; for some reason the crotch to the issued cammie pants never seems to stay intact for more than a few months of regular use (by regular use, I’m referring to people that do things). Perhaps it is just a weak seam in the design, or perhaps something much more sinister is involved. Whatever the case, odds are if you’re reading this you probably don’t own a single pair of cammies that has an intact crotch region. I have at last figured out this conundrum: Uncle Sam and his infamous Green Weenie have designed your cammies to do this, as it allows him to slip into your butthole unnoticed by regular bodily defenses of various fabrics.
If you could do me and your fellow Marines a favor though: please wear underwear when wearing a pair of cammies with breached defenses. I recall a moment at PTA a few years back, I was sitting at that shitty little pizza place when a friend of mine, an 0331, sat across from me in a relaxed position. At first glance, I saw just the tear in his crotch like every other Marine, but unfortunately I was unable to avoid seeing some shaft in the process. To which I asked, “Dammit, why can I see your dick?” He responded that he likes to free ball. To each his own, but please consider wearing underwear for the sake of those around you.
Green weenies and crotches aside, I almost didn’t upload a strip today because I’ve been completely overrun with work I’m having to catch up on after missing a week of school because of pneumonia. However, every day I get emails telling me how great Terminal Lance is and people actually thank me for making it. Things like that might seem stupid, but I never get tired of reading it, and it really is the reason I’ve kept doing the comic for as long as I have.
I don’t have time to respond to every email, but I just want to thank all of you for being so supportive of the comic and the site over the last couple years. A comic isn’t anything without fans to read it, and I definitely appreciate it. So hey, pass it along to your friends, share it on Facebook and Twitter and keep the people coming! Also, you can really help support the site by buying a copy of Terminal Lance: “KNIFE HANDS!!!”, the compilation of strips 1-100 with all kinds of extra shit.
As thanks, I’ll leave you with this beautiful image of a Marine embracing his loved one that’s been all over the internet lately: