I had trouble deciding if this strip should end up with the title of “Literally” or what you see here. Either way, this is what I imagine happens to the MRE’s that are left out for the platoon to eat. After all, surely no decent Marine would take an MRE out of the box, remove the contents they want to eat and put it back in the box. Surely, they would take the entire MRE and just accept the hand that the MRE gods had dealt them. Because surely, only the biggest douchesticks in the world rat-fuck MRE’s.
Therefore, surely, it is the rat you don’t see that literally fucks your delicious Meals, Ready to Eat. The rat seduces them, undresses them, and has sensual love-making sessions that last into the wee morning hours of reveille.
If I might change the subject, I just wanted to briefly mention something. We all know that Sunday was the tenth anniversary of September 11th. The news poured over it, people updated their statuses, tweeted and blogged about their experiences on the day. Instead of suggesting to you all that anything I could possibly say about it would be a worthy tribute to such a horrific tragedy, I spent the day in solemn remembrance, and suggested (via Facebook) that you all do the same.
I took a trip to the Walnut Creek veteran’s memorial to pay my respects. I posted these photos on Facebook, but I figured I’d put some of them here in case you missed them.
Anyway, I don’t think any of you need a reminder from me to “never forget”. As veterans of Iraq or Afghanistan, the day will forever be a silent reminder of everything we’ve done. No one needs to say it to us, and we don’t need to say it to anyone else, because even if we tried, we could never possibly forget.
Lastly, and another abrupt change of subject, if for some reason you haven’t ordered “Knife-Hands!”, go to your company office and knock on your CO’s door. When he asks what you want (if 1st Sgt doesn’t catch you first anyway), tell him, “Sir, I’ve lost my fucking mind”, because clearly you’d have to be insane to not want to buy such an awesome book.