Terminal Lance #387 “Guide On”

July 10, 2015

If there’s anything to be said about the “Guide” in boot camp, it’s that he’ll tell you about it for the rest of his fucking life.

For those of you unfamiliar, the boot camp platoon Guide is the top ranked position amongst recruits. That is to say, if you were a turd in a pile of shit, you’d be the turd that looks good and actually has to talk to the asshole all day. (This metaphor works better than I thought it would)

The Guide’s general responsibilities are to carry around the platoon flag (guidon), and act like a total douche to the rest of the recruits in your platoon. My guide was a POG reservist, whose only real redeeming quality was that he could run a 300 PFT. Impressive stuff, but he unq’d on the rifle range and barely acquired a ‘Pizza Box’ by the end of it. I’m sure, however, while those of us that were active duty infantry went off to our units and onto further adventures in Iraq and Afghanistan, he went home and told all of the women he could that he was the guide in boot camp.

For my own part, I had the best billet in all of MCRD. I was the “Artist Recruit,” which meant I got to skate out of a lot of stuff and draw things. I’ll take that any day over being the guide.

On a side note, I’ve been having some issues with the ads on the site. If you get redirected please let me know, as well as any details about it (like the URL you get redirected to, brand, etc). The ads are a necessary evil, but I absolutely don’t want anything going on that is detrimental to reading the comic.