Terminal Lance “War is a Racket”

September 12, 2020

The CIF issuing at the beginning of your Marine Corps career is one of the most ubiquitously dubious rackets that is part of the military experience. When you arrive at any new command, you have to get “kitted” out, which means the government gives you a whole ton of equipment that is standard issue.

“Give” is a tricky word though. Most of the gear is a lease, and you will have to give it back before you leave. However, some of it is “consumable,” which means they expect it to be destroyed in the normal course of Marine Corps life in the field and abroad. Of course, who expects a Lance Corporal to keep accurate track of small, losable items over the course of 3-4 years? CIF, apparently.

There is always at least one or two things that everyone either forgets or loses. After all, everyone arranges their gear differently, and you don’t always need to use everything you’re given. While you can try to just plant it at the bottom of your seabag and hope it never moves over the next few years, the daily military life of hustle and bustle, moving rooms and racks constantly, will often see certain items vanish into the aether.

Check any of the “military surplus” stores conveniently located around any major base and find an assortment of lost (stolen) CIF issued items happily for sale at a “surplus.”



Terminal Lance #472 “Why We Hate CIF II”

May 16, 2017

CIF employees and armory custodians have a lot in common… That is, they’re both fucking assholes that no one likes.

As well, they both turn away your shit for totally ridiculous reasons.

CIF gear is always required to be washed and cleaned when turning it back in, which would be fine if their standards weren’t so ridiculous, considering that the gear is designed to be used by people who literally sleep in dirt for a living and wash their assholes with baby wipes because they don’t shower for days at a time.

Of course, these days gear gets replaced with newer, better gear all the time. I turned in an ILBE pack that Marines today no longer use, but was issued brand new from the package. This serves to make the practice of vigorously cleaning your shit even more useless since most of it will be replaced with new gear anyway for the next generation.

In other news, Terminal Lance is back stateside and jet lagged as fuck, but otherwise operational! Stand by for some cool new stuff coming soon!