Terminal Lance #16 “LOL, Boots”

Just as I’m beginning a spinoff on MRE’s, I’m thinking of going the same way with “LOL, Boots”. Really, there’s so many ridiculous and humorous things that boots do that you could probably make an entire graphic novel off of them. While the clothing thing might seem somewhat nit-picky, I’ll explain why it bothers me.

I mentioned this on the forum, for those of you that actually frequent there. Last Saturday I was at the barber shop on base receiving my weekly medium-reg when the bootiest of boots happened to walk in and sit down in one of the chairs. This is what he decided to wear on that beautiful, Hawaiian weekend:

1. Blue Jeans
2. Brown leather belt
3. Shower shoes
4. A black Quicksilver rash guard as a t-shirt
5. A backpack

Now, obviously there isn’t anything wrong with wearing blue jeans. I must implore you though, if you do wear jeans please try to avoid ones with tapered leg openings. These look completely retarded unless you’re wearing boots and you work in a warehouse. The leather belt would have been great had he actually been wearing shoes to match; but black, rubber shower shoes as flip flops screams “just got here.”  I think what bothered me the most was the rash guard. For those of you that don’t know what a rash guard is, it is a device you wear while surfing to avoid nipple chafing and sun burn. To top it all off, he had actually tucked in the rash guard into his jeans (which is how I knew what kind of belt he was wearing).

If you can picture this poor kid properly, you can probably gather he looked completely retarded. The skinny, shaved-head boot look to complete it all.

Any Marine worth a couple of pumps can spot a boot from a mile away. You can just tell. They all have that same, fresh, have no idea what the fuck is going on look to them. As well, almost always they dress completely ridiculous–which is where the strip was inspired from. I’m not entirely sure what it is, I genuinely wonder if these Marines had ever been outside prior to joining the Marines. And why is there always one dressed like a cowboy? Yes, you’re from Texas–no one gives a shit. In addition to the cowboy, you typically have the token wigger and the kid who looks like his mom picked out his outfit (and sucked at it). The gem though, not seen quite as often around the grunts, is the 7.62 rep.

These motherfuckers go to cash sales and buy all of the motto, bullshit 7.62 Designs shirts with Ed Hardy-esque “Devil Dog” and “Teufelhunden” plastered all over it with some cheesy bullets and skulls or some shit. I say these are rare in the infantry because typically a good senior will snatch that up before he hits the streets. Just as Marines don’t let Marines drive drunk, Marines don’t let Marines walk around in retarded motto bullshit t-shirts they bought at cash sales.

I’m pretty sure that’s a Marine Corps order somewhere.

So with that said, I’d like to take a moment to invite you all to the forums. We have 100 registered users and probably about 10 people that actually post. What gives? It’s a new forum, there’s not a whole lot of lurking to be done! Also, don’t mind the new Google ads. I’m just trying to make some extra cash, so if you see something you like feel free to click on it as many times as you want. Speaking of cash, don’t be afraid to buy the Terminal Lance t-shirts. I guarantee you’re more likely to get laughs than mean looks.

I wear mine to the gym all the time, most people just ask me where I got it and laugh. Don’t forget you can still buy coffee mugs and other Terminal Lance-branded items!

Funny note, since my “50,000” hits celebration we’ve already gotten over 60,000. I better figure out what I’m going to do for 100,000 hits… maybe I busted my nut too early with the 50,000 celebration…