Terminal Lance – Stimulated

Marines are famously great with money. Well, they’re not great at keeping it, but they’re great at spending it. All the more reason that the economic stimulus checks of $1400 are better spent with Lance Corporals than anyone else. If the purpose is to put the money back into the economy, Lance Corporals will happily dump $1400 into beer, strippers, and new cars faster than they got it.

This is what happens when most of your income is completely disposable. Of course, there are many Marines with real obligations and money sense, but the vast majority of young E-3’s live in the barracks, eat their meals at the chow hall, and don’t have to pay anything for health care. What else are you going to do with your guaranteed bi-weekly government paycheck?

This is why I’m announcing that I’m going to open a theme park outside of Twentynine Palms specifically for Marines to waste their money on. Beer, guns, strippers, coffee, roller coasters, you name it. Terminal Lance Land coming soon (not really).