Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance “Mr. President”

October 3, 2020

Our pandemic just got a whole lot more serious with the President of the United States testing positive for COVID-19 and being admitted to Walter Reed yesterday. As is custom, we are now scouring the Wikipedias to figure out who is in the line of succession to take over in the event that he doesn’t make it. With the “super spreader” events going on at the White House, we have to assume that it’s only a matter of time before a random Lance Corporal is forced to be sworn in as Commander in Chief.

Would this really be that bad, though? I feel like we can all agree, at least around these parts, that Lance Corporals are the most dope motherfuckers on the planet. Every day would consist of PT on your own, fast chow, and a whole lot of liberty before noon.

Maybe this election is all a big racket after all… Let’s just get a Lance Corporal in the White House and call it a day.