Terminal Lance “Coronabusiness”
March 13, 2020
The world is crumbling to virally infected pieces and there’s nothing more American than capitalizing on it. While civilians flock and fight their way to the toilet paper aisles across America, Marines have a secret advantage… Every MRE comes with a weird little pack of toilet paper that is usually thrown away and forgotten about. In these trying times? This is a profitable endeavor for any Marine willing to rat-fuck their way to financial success.
Marines are possibly the best equipped people on earth to deal with a viral epidemic, as their gratuitous exposure to unknown diseases in boot camp, combined with a powerful cocktail of constant immunizations, has made them nearly indestructible and immune to most human illnesses.
If you’ve ever drank out of one of these you are immune to the Corana Virus pic.twitter.com/PDtxbtvazW
— Kobe Bean Bryant (@SkipBalor) March 5, 2020
Stay safe out there and wash your nasty hands.
Speaking of capitalistic endeavors, you may remember a couple months back to our DUTY DOODLE CONTEST! After a bit of an unexpected production hiccup, we’ve got the winners here… ON OUR NEW DUTY DOODLE SHIRT AVAILABLE ON THE TERMINAL LANCE STORE.
This shirt features the artwork of our 5 Duty Doodle contest winners, master artists of their dick-craft, who will be receiving a free shirt of their own. Look and feel like a shitter wall in this new phallic masterpiece available in all sizes in Skivvy Green and portashitter blue. (Make sure you pick the correct color when you buy)