Terminal Lance #474 “Small Victories”

When life sucks, it’s the little victories that can make a good day.

Luckily, in the Marine Corps, your odds of literally everyone being too hung over to PT in the morning are pretty good on most days. I’d say there’s about a 50/50 chance* you’ll actually have to do some lame real PT rather than just some bullshit jog around the barracks for 5 minutes before you all go back to your rooms and try to sober up before breakfast.

*Odds increase exponentially if your Platoon Commander arrives in PT gear with a dumbass look on his face like he wants to PT with you.

Marines drink. Given that the Corps was founded in a Tavern in 1775, Marines drinking is an earthly constant much like gravity and Lance Corporals complaining. These are laws of nature that cannot be changed or altered, much like energy cannot be created nor destroyed.

Still, drink responsibly. You don’t want to be the guy plucking dried vomit chunks out of his leg hair in the middle of morning PT (I’ve seen this personally).