Terminal Lance “Lord Mattis II”
April 17, 2015
We’ve seen before what the effects of being blessed by General Mattis can do to a man, and unfortunately I fell victim to his Holiness’ aura of unbridled masculinity last night.
This is actually not the first time I’ve been able to take a photo with General Mattis, but it is the first time I got him to throw up the “Lance Corporal Hand Signal,” which made me as giddy as a school girl.
Long story short, I was informed by the IAVA that General Mattis was going to be speaking at the 4th Annual Salute to Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans at the Marine’s Memorial Club in San Francisco. Living not too far from there, I decided it would be a fun night for me to crash the party (as an Iraq veteran as well).
After mingling with a few fans I entered the theater, where I was handed a question card to submit to General Mattis during his speech. This is what I wrote on the card:
Yes, I have the handwriting of a 10 year old dyslexic, that’s not the point.
The questions were passed along the aisles and given to the host of the event to sort through and filter for the General. The host happened to be a retired Sergeant Major, so it came as no surprise to me that my question was most likely promptly thrown out of the pile. After answering legitimate questions from real people, such as whether or not he’s going to run for president and the threats that ISIS and Iran pose to the US (to which he gave very great answers), he asked the audience if there were any more questions that maybe didn’t get submitted to him.
I wasn’t going to, but a bunch of people around me started encouraging me to ask him my question, since they knew it didn’t get asked.
I stood up and addressed the good General, introducing myself and asking him if he read Terminal Lance and what his favorite comic was. He didn’t answer the second part, but he did say that he reads and enjoys Terminal Lance, and that humor and freedom of speech are important virtues to maintain in the culture.
He then quipped that if I made fun of him, he’d kill me.
By the time you read this, I might be dead (if not from elephantiasis of the testicles, then by possibly a lightning strike).
In any case, it was a really awesome night, it was a lot of fun meeting all of the Marines that attended the event and even had a couple of drinks with me afterward. The Marine’s Memorial Association is phenomenal for putting on the event and run by a lot of really great Marines. As well, listening to General Mattis talk is always a humbling and educational experience. The presence of such a powerful force of wisdom and stature is always incredible to be around.
For those of you wondering if he’ll be running for President… this is what he said about it:
“The qualities that you [Marines] see in me are not necessarily the qualities that would endear me to others.”