Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance #281 “Adopt a Marine”

July 26, 2013

You’ve all seen these horribly depressing ASPCA commercials that come on late at night, or the ones about starving kids or retarded whale dolphin babies. I’m sure you’ve also heard of (if you’re reading this site, anyway) the “Adopt a Hero” or “Adopt a Soldier” programs where you “sponsor” a deployed Marine or Soldier or whatever and send them packages and letters or something. The gesture is really nice, of course no one is going to complain about getting some free shit sent to them from the states, but these commercials always pop into my head when I see them. Then again, I have a weird imagination.

Packages from home are always fun. Somehow, somewhere, everyone in the US heard that Marines love baby wipes for cleaning weapons and themselves. As such, each package you receive will likely contain about 17,000 baby wipes for your cleaning pleasure. It’s never a bad thing, but you can only use so many baby wipes in 7 months. I always preferred food. Not really packaged food, but when someone sends real homemade food! Believe it or not, packaged junk food is usually pretty easy to get ahold of over there, but homemade cookies are not. My wife (at the time) sent me peanut butter cookies once, my favorite–and while the cookies themselves were completely destroyed upon arrival, it didn’t stop me from gorging on the crumbles and pieces that filled the plastic tupperware.

Also, Marines fucking love Maxim. Seriously, I’m pretty sure Maxim print magazine has survived solely because of the Camp Wilson PX.