Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance #266 “Deployment Goggles II”

May 14, 2013

I’ve talked about this phenomenon before. When you come home from deployment, you’re most likely geared to want to touch your penis against anything with a pulse. I have to urge against this. As a general rule of thumb, try to avoid sleeping with anything that wasn’t already attractive before you left. This means when you come home, you should probably just hit up old girlfriends, female friends with an awkward sexual tension, or your wife (if you have one of those).

Of course, this is easier said than done, and the results might be less than impressive. Regardless, you have to stay strong! Just because something has a vagina (or a penis, if that’s your thing), doesn’t mean it needs to touch any part of your body.

As per the female perspective of this. Well, naturally I’m not really qualified to comment on it seeing as I don’t possess a vagina. I’m guessing it probably goes both ways (the situation, not your vagina).

Okay, I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but it’s good to be back. I’m trying to get back into the swing of things around here. I’ve still got some loose ends to tie up but I plan on putting a lot more time into the site in the near future. I’m officially a college graduate, as I mentioned before. That GI Bill worked wonders, and if you find yourself post EAS with no direction, just go to fucking school. I can’t stress this enough. It seems like common sense, but I know Marines that just don’t want to go to college. I don’t get it. They pay you to go. Just do it.

Fuck.

In other news, howabout that congresswoman calling out all those misogynistic military Facebook pages? Yeah. That’s a thing. Pro-tip: just because you can doesn’t mean you should. I suppose my issue with these pages is that they generally start off as funny places for Marines and soldiers alike to get together and laugh at boots and such, and other generally funny content; but quickly degrade into endless sandwich jokes and (clearly) inappropriate and blatant misogyny. I suppose if I hated women I’d be upset by this news, but since I don’t, and Terminal Lance wasn’t on her list, I simply moved on with my day after a good chuckle.

Seriously though, the fucking sandwich thing was funny like the first (over) 9,000 times I heard it.

Shit gets old, bro.