Terminal Lance #155 “Customer Service”
October 14, 2011
I don’t pretend to know the inner-workings of whatever complex payroll system the Department of Defense utilizes to distribute those tax-payer dollars to service members, but I do know it often gets fucked up. I have no idea whether or not this is a human or computer error, but keeping in spirit with true military fashion, the solution is equally convoluted.
This has never actually happened to me personally, but I have heard this story a million times from grunts and everyone else. Somehow, somewhere, pay gets mis-distributed and in order to make up for it, IPAC revokes your ENTIRE paycheck until they get their money back. Like most things related to the government, if they owe you money: good luck. However, god forbid the day you owe them a few bucks, you’ll find yourself up shit creek without even hands to scoop your way down the fecal stream.
I recall this situation happened to my neighbor, and when he told Staff Sergeant, he was asked, “Why did you spend it if they were paying you more?” The obvious response was, “Because I didn’t know they were paying me more”. While we do get the quarterly Leave and Earnings statement, it’s hardly something that the average Marine even glances at with any real insight. The paycheck directly deposited into your financial institution may as well be completely fake, as long as some numbers show up we’re perfectly fine with it.
Anyway, late update today, I blame AT&T for making it such a hassle to activate my new phone, as that is what I spent most of the morning doing. When the UPS guy came this morning, I was still half asleep. I rolled out of bed as he pounded on the door, saying, “YOU WANT YOUR NEW PHONE???”
I answered the door and laughed, signed the… signature thing… and took the phone. He looked at me and said, “I’ve got about 500 of these fucking things in my truck today…” He obviously wasn’t as thrilled about it as I was.
On an even more unrelated note, I recently started a Tumblr page. You can find it at:
I’ll be posting random things, not typically Terminal Lance related. In fact, you’ll probably find a lot more zombies on there than anything else.
In an even more unrelated note:
If you can afford to buy Adobe’s CS products, DO IT! I know 80% of people just pirate the software, and I don’t really give two shits about it either way, but actually owning legitimate licenses for Adobe products is the best. It runs smooth, fast, and you get full support. I recently bought the new Production Premium suite, and I’m loving it immensely. PhotoShop CS 5.1 runs smoother and more reliably than it did before!
Anyway, that’s all my ramblings for the day, have a good weekend!