Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance “Necropocalypse” Part VIII

July 8, 2011

Another day, another Necropocalypse comic. I’ve got two more of these planned, as it was planned as a ten-part series. Don’t like it? Feel free to buy yourself  a copy of the Marine Corps Times for some classic 3 panel humor.

I want to correct myself about the whole female PFT thing I mentioned a couple days ago. Well, more accurately, I was corrected (by a Staff NCO no less, brings back memories). I received this email informing me of the actual PFT rules:

The information you received about female Marines receiving 75 points if they do 1 pull up is wrong. They get a max points of 70 if they do the flex arm hang for 70 seconds.  The second event requires a female to do a male pull up.  1 pull up equals 5 points, 2 pull ups equals 10 points.  If a female is able to do 6 pull ups she will get the maximum point of 30.

Semper Fidelis,

GySgt Edison V. Aquino

This makes a hell of a lot more sense, and I thank you for pointing that out to me.

Another late update today–this Necropocalypse thing is slowly killing me. These pages take a lot of work–a lot more than the average strip–and I happen to have about 4 other projects going on right now. Who’da thunk that summer would be so busy? My dog is hating me right now, I promised him I’d take him to the park, but instead spent the day hunched over my drafting table, much like I’ve been doing every day.

Not at all.

But, I do it because I love you all. Well, not all of you, but most of you. Additionally, I know I’ve been saying it forever, but there’s some REALLY big, awesome things coming down the line for Terminal Lance, so look forward to that in the next few weeks.

I may as well talk about a zombie movie!

The movie I’m about to talk about is probably one you haven’t seen. Well, if you’re lucky and/or have some common sense at least. In 2008, someone thought it would be hilarious to remake 1985’s best zombie-romp, Day of the Dead, with little to no regard for the story, content, or… um… anything relating to the original. This film is, of course, 2008’s Day of the Dead.

Day of the Dead (2008)

Don’t let the high-speed poster art fool you, as I’m assuming they paid the graphic designer that put it together more than it costed to make the actual film. Somehow, and I honestly don’t know why, they also got Ving Rhames to star in this garbage. He’s not playing the same character he did in 2004’s Dawn of the Dead remake either, he’s just here, being some random military guy.

As the story goes, some zombies happen, and people die, and stupid shit happens.

That’s basically all you need to know. My favorite scene? They literally spend 30 minutes looking for the keys to an Army HMMWV. I wish I was making this up. Anyone who’s been in the military more than 5 minutes knows this is absurd, but it was really happening before my eyes. The film doesn’t do George Romero, Ving Rhames, or anything else related to zombies any justice whatsoever. It looks like it was filmed overnight, the special effects are re-hashed PlayStation graphics–to include sound effects from Resident Evil 2.

Is it the worst zombie film I’ve ever seen? Sadly, no. The undead have the unfortunate and dubious ability to attract would-be filmmakers into low-budget awfulness because it gives them “street cred” as a director. Everyone wants to have that Romero quality; to make a hit zombie film with their friends for little more than the cost of food. However, the movies end up sucking balls 9 times out of 10. Low budget does not equal good, and it doesn’t make you a “legit” filmmaker. I’m not implying you can’t make good films without a budget, but these guys are using it as a crutch to promote their awful films.

Anyway, I don’t really have anything to say about this movie other than it sucks. Don’t watch it–or go ahead and watch it if you want to spend the rest of your day pissed off at a movie.