Maximilian

Creator


Terminal Lance #76 “LOL, Boots III”

October 25, 2010

Oh boots… There is something magical about them, so saturated with opinions they think are their own. The ever-revered high and tight I’m sure served its practical purpose at some point in the war-laden culture of the military. It is also true that it is an easy to maintain haircut that has hygienic qualities associated with it. However, it looks absolutely ridiculous as a real solution to a head of hair. Even when you’re overseas, you’re better off just buzzing the entire scalp completely than wearing this absurd ‘do.

The High and Tight itself carries with it a kind of strange physical representation of how motivated one is. Nipples turn into Eagle, Globe and Anchors and farts sound like the Marine Corps Hymn. It is as if the very spirit of Chesty Puller and Smedley Butler are manifested in this grotesque molestation of one’s own body of hair. I may remind you motivators though, that Chesty Puller did not wear a high and tight:

Chesty Puller

Nor in fact did Smedley Butler:

Smedley Butler

Really, this practice of a “real Marine” haircut is a strange ideal–one that is not seen in most commonly known ideal Marines. And yet still, it is the motivators that carry this flaccid tradition to heart.

The Marine Corps is possibly the only place that uses hairstyles as a gauge for how much one is capable. Those who see a Marine wearing a high and tight think of him as being responsible, motivated and “squared away”. Those without–such as those like myself who regularly rocked the medium and low-reg haircuts–are often seen as being “shitbags” or quite literally less responsible because of their hair. Bottom line, one’s hair does not gauge how well he can perform his job. A high and tight does not equate to performance or responsibility–it really just equates to you looking like an asshole.

So come on, you’re not fooling anyone. Get rid of that silly haircut, Marine.