TL Comics

Terminal Lance #58 “Six Bucks is Already Enough”


Haircuts are a big part of Marine Corps culture. Whether you’re a reg-thumper, shit bag, blue falcon, or just a Marine; the few choices a Marine actually has in the selection of a haircut can say a lot about that individual. More importantly though, whether you like it or not, you’ll have to pay for this cranial sodomy every weekend, lest one wants a good ass chewing come Monday morning.

I’ve never been a proponent of the weekly haircut system. Not because I don’t want to look squared away, but because I don’t want to spend $6-10 every weekend for some random (and always foreign for some reason) asshole to ruin what little hair I’m allowed to have. It’s really more of a money thing than anything. Lets do the math here:

Let’s say a haircut is a good even $7, since some bases seem to charge different amounts. Relatively cheap, no? Well sure, but you have to pay for this every weekend, remember. 52 weeks in a year times $7 equals $364. Now, most people tend to give a tip of about $2, which doesn’t seem like much at the time. This also doesn’t include weekends spent away from base–whether it’s leave or just a long weekend–where you’ll probably pay about $8-15 for a cut. Taking these variables into account ($11.50 [+5% rounded sales tax] average for off-base haircuts with a rounded off-base haircut number of 10 per year, plus a tip variable of $2 a week) you’re left paying anywhere between $414.75 to $517.75 a year in haircuts alone.

This, I remind you, is coming out of your pocket. Why is there no system for free haircuts associated with the Marine Corps? For an organization so hair-obsessed, I find this really odd. We’re given a clothing allowance annually to maintain our uniforms, but no bone is thrown when it comes to the required weekly hair-defilement.

Here’s a suggestion: Haircuts should be paid for by the Marine Corps. Otherwise, they should not be required, by Marine Corps Order.

Infantry Marine turned Combat Artist turned animator turned bestselling author turned dad.

Terminal Lance #57 “Field Day Will Never Mean the Same Thing”

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