I recall quite un-fondly the many times we were forced to Field Day the barracks when someone important was on the base. The Lance Corporal’s worst day is the day the Commandant comes to visit the base, because whether or not you even see him in any of his physical forms, you can guarantee yourself that you’ll be field daying the entire base up to a week in advance. It usually goes something like what you see here.

Word will be passed, “The Commandant is coming this week, I need 20 bodies to go on a battalion working party to police-call the entire base.” The entire company will sigh in anguish, because even if you don’t get put on this working party you’ll end up having to literally scrub the walls of your barracks building just in case the Commandant comes within a city block of your room.

This happened all the time, and somehow in my 4 years of enlistment I never once even saw the man with my own eyes. This of course isn’t limited to the big man himself, sometimes it’ll just be the SgtMaj of the Marine Corps traveling solo, President Obama (he’s Kama’aina), random and relatively unheard of generals, maybe the base commander’s nephew–who knows. Whatever excuse they can think of to get everyone to clean the entire base in a panic, they usually take it.

In other news, did you know I have a book? If not, look at my balls:

But seriously, if you haven’t purchased “KNIFE-HANDS” yet, go haze yourself. $20 for a book with tons of extra shit not seen on the site isn’t a bad deal. Then again, what do I know… I’m just a lowly Lance Coolie. (Actually I’m a Corporal according to MOL, but I never got pinned).