You know exactly what I’m talking about. The Facebook poseur is the guy you see wearing the the brand new kevlar, the interceptor vest, the M16-A2 and improperly fitting gear. He’s the guy that’s never been anywhere, done anything worth mentioning, but lives out his Call of Duty pipe-dreams with the occasional range week where he actually gets to wear all that shiny gear he was issued at CIF (for whatever reason). He doesn’t lie about his Marine Corps experience, just feigns the truth through “badass” profile photos and vague status updates.
All of us, I’m sure, have posted one photo or another that depicts us in our uniforms. That’s not the point, however. The point is that boots may be obvious to the trained eye, but to the average civilian back home–they won’t know the difference. Body armor and weapons look cool on anyone! What they won’t realize is the difference between an M16-A2 or an A4 or M4; the difference between the interceptor vest and an MTV or modern plate carrier–hell, they most certainly won’t be able to tell whether or not there’s even sapi-plates in the damned things. It’s one thing to make your parents and friends proud, but don’t overdo it.
I know it’s super cool to take a photo of yourself the first time you put on that fresh new body armor–but please resist the urge to show it to anyone.
Well today is a good day indeed. It is today that we are marking the 100th official strip since my January 5th, 2010 release. Obviously, this isn’t including the strips you see in the Marine Corps Times–as those aren’t numbered. This is obviously meant to be seen with a sense of humor, as I get enough emails from SNCO’s and officers to know that Terminal Lance is appreciated across the board by all ranks. However, I imagine strips like TL #15 don’t sit well with the more motivated types.
Though I’m open to all aspects and facets of humor, Terminal Lance will remain what it was from the get-go: a funny comic strip based off of the life of an infantry (as in 03xx) Lance Corporal. I get emails all the time asking me to portray other fields and MOS’s. I’m not technically opposed to the idea, but I just don’t have the first-hand experience to really make anything funny. As I was an 0351, I am limited to my experiences as a grunt–which I’m fine with.
On this special occasion, I would like to take a moment to do something unheard of in the brief history of Terminal Lance. I’m going to introduce to you two characters you may have already noticed are recurring in strips.
As you all know, we have our main character–who has been referred to as “Lance Corporal” on many occasions as I wanted to keep him anonymous. However, as you may have read in the Marine Corps Times I have been at work on an actual Terminal Lance graphic novel. The graphic novel is a narrative storyline, with characters that have names and personalities of their own. Our main character?
Abe
Welcome Abe. His last name is notoriously difficult for his platoon and section members to pronounce, so they have taken to just referring to him by his first name–which he doesn’t mind, as it beats getting some crazy knick-name.
The other character I would like to introduce you to that has come up in a couple recent strips is LCPL Garcia.
LCPL Garcia
Garcia doesn’t quite have the scathing wit that Abe does, but lives his life on grounds of common sense. Abe and Garcia are largely inseparable during work hours, on field ops and deployment. (I realize these aren’t the best photos in the world, but expect to see better ones soon).
I don’t want to go into too much detail with the novel and story itself–but expect to find Abe and Garcia as the central characters.
Outside of this, I also have a short blooper video ready to watch from the charity drive last month. I’ll post it tomorrow, as my internet is too slow to cooperate with me right now.
Anyway, thank you all for making Terminal Lance what it is. Without the loyal support from Marines all over the planet, I would have just been another webcomic in the vast expanse of failed webcomics on the internet. As it stands, Terminal Lance is actually ranked (by Alexa) as being one of the top military webcomics in existence. (Not counting old cartoons like Doonesbury, etc). We see more traffic than Sempertoons and AF Blues (not that they aren’t great comics as well), and Terminal Lance has only been out for a year.
Have a good weekend and I’ll see you next week! Don’t forget to pick up a copy of the Marine Corps Times every week for new, exclusive Terminal Lance strips you won’t find here or anywhere else!
You all know this guy, he’s the one guy that’s just happy to be there. The guy that doesn’t mean his Oorah’s and Yut’s ironically, he’s the guy that will stay in and re-enlist until the stars and rockers on his collar are too large for him to carry on physically. You joined his Corps. He’s the guy that everyone else hates. If you had a dollar for every time you heard someone slander the idea of a penis within his oral vicinity you’d have enough money to pay your own GI Bill, and maybe a couple of your buddies.
On a side note, being a grunt in Hawaii was an absolute guarantee that you’d see rain. For those of you that don’t know, Hawaii is a tropical environment. While yes, it is sunny and nice 60% of the time, the other 40% is some of the most violent and fuckless rain you’ve ever seen. A quick fact: Hawaii gets some of the most rainfall per year out of anywhere in the world. This makes the beautiful islands the ideal place for training Marines in wet, soggy conditions year-round.
The one word in Hawaii that triggers rainfall almost guaranteed? Reveille.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: quite possibly the most absurd nuance of the Marine Corps is not being able to put your hands in your pockets–even when its bitter cold outside. I’ve heard the old tales and adages of Chesty Puller saying something along the lines of, “A Marine with cold hands and empty pockets is a fool”, or whathaveyou, but given some recent revelations of even the simplest things like the history of the term “devil dog”, I doubt many Marine legends to be true.
In any case, this really just comes down to one simple belief of mine: pockets exist on the uniform for a reason. If it’s cold outside, warm your hands. Furthermore, if anything the Marine Corps should encourage such an action, since cold hands could very well adversely affect the way a Marine performs his job.
Anyway, I consider the “hands in the pockets” thing to be a pretty standard issue gripe of the Lance Corporal. It always bothered me, how stupid it was.
On a random note, I’m currently watching Heartbreak Ridge on Netflix with Clint Eastwood as a hard-charging devil doggin’ Jarhead. All I can say is that this movie is completely ridiculous. If the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have accomplished anything in Hollywood, it’s the push for more realistic credibility within war/military films. With the exception of the recent GI Joe and The Hurt Locker, most films really make some genuine effort to be realistic–which is demanded by today’s audience littered with recent combat veterans.
Aside from that, I don’t have a whole lot to say, other than taking 6 classes this semester is pretty killer. Have a good weekend and I’ll see you next week!
Too soon? Believe it or not, I actually debated doing this strip many months ago when I was still in Hawaii and still active duty, however ultimately I deemed it to be “too soon” to make fun of the puppy incident. Don’t take me the wrong way; I grew up in Oregon, I love animals and wildlife. What LCpl David Motari did in the infamous video is deplorable and disgusting by all accounts. I won’t post it here, because I don’t want to see it again, but feel free to Google “Marine throws puppy” and I’m sure you’ll be pointed in the right direction if you are unfamiliar with the incident.
I wouldn’t necessarily say that my intent here is to make light of the puppy-tossing, but to make fun of the inevitable inside jokes that occurred immediately afterward.
Maybe it is too soon, but it was almost 3 years ago. For those that are curious, David Motari got exactly what he deserved: brig time with a dishonorable discharge.
In other news, my first day of classes are officially underway tomorrow (Tuesday). While many schools remained open during MLK day, mine honored the holiday by closing for business. It may be worth noting, however, that class was in full session during Veteran’s day. A little irksome, to say the least. I don’t mean to discount the value of MLK day–quite the contrary–he was a true American hero by all accounts. However, it would be nice if Veteran’s day had the same consideration.
There came a time in my days at Recruit Training that I realized I wasn’t getting the comprehensive survival training I had expected when I joined the Marines. For some reason, I assumed that Marines, of all people, would be the most adept wilderness-survival experts in the world. However, perhaps the fact that boot camp itself is the least memorable event in the Marine Corps once you’ve been in the fleet for a bit, causing to become a large blur, maybe I simply forgot it all. I doubt it, because I don’t think there was ever a time in my 4 years that I was expected to start a fire without matches or truly survive in the wilderness on my own without MRE’s and supplies.
The fact is, the average infantry Marine, at least during a time of war, isn’t really given much true survival training. In all reality, it isn’t our job. Our job is to shoot things, and shoot them well. I consider myself quite adept at that; however, I am slightly disappointed I didn’t walk out of the Marines ready to eat snakes and tree bark on a moment’s whim. That isn’t to say I don’t know how to camp–quite the contrary–infantry Marines camp all the time, usually every week. On my first workup, I’m pretty sure we spent more time in the field then we did anywhere else. That’s not the point, the field to us is ranges, room-clearing, maybe some land nav–but no true survival training.
In retrospect, there was that 1 hour long brief when we got to CAX about how to survive in the desert, but hardly what I would call comprehensive training.
Is it a necessity right now with our mission in Afghanistan? Obviously not, but it would be really awesome.
For those of you that don’t know who Les Stroud is, he was the host of the now-cancelled Discovery Channel show Survivorman. I recently discovered Survivorman on Netflix Watch Instantly and caught myself up to speed on all 3 seasons. He’s also Canadian. He’s also, frankly, a straight badass.
I’ve always had a personal disdain for the sausages served in tray-rat breakfast. After the first time biting into the over-processed, foul tasting entity I vowed to never again submit myself to their tyranny. I was first exposed to these horrifying sticks of meat during training on the big island of Hawaii, or PTA as the base camp is known. During this time, while standing around in circles talking to eachother, it became a sort of inside joke that they were actually manufactured by Yoda himself.
You can see here, him stealing the sausage out of Luke’s MRE:
Yoda enjoying Luke’s Tray-Rat Sausage
Yoda actually operates a sausage-factory on the top of highest peak of the Big Island of Hawaii, where a conveyor runs between plethoras of defecating felines.
Long story short, I don’t eat the tray-rat sausages. Neither should you.
While my mother has never gotten a high and tight, I have noticed an overwhelming wave of motivation fall upon my loved ones. Like some kind of illness, the motivation takes many forms, usually more severe than anything I’ve ever displayed. I’ve never worn a shirt with a giant EGA or brandished anything overtly “USMC”, but that hasn’t stopped any of my family members. Somehow even when all you can think about is an EAS date or changing out of cammies, all your family wants to do is surround you with “oorahs” and watch war movies with you when you come home on leave.
I wanted to include another panel of a family dog with a high and tight, but three panels is sometimes limiting.
Outside of the infantry (and even in it, some could argue), not all Marine Corps MOS’ are treated equal. It is a complete fallacy to say that there aren’t any cool POG jobs, I used tank crewman in this example; but there are many non-infantry jobs that one could consider badass. Obviously, there are also many POG jobs that one would not consider badass, which I’ve exemplified here with IPAC. Though, frankly, I think the lamest POG job I’ve ever heard of is the 1171 Water Tech. When I first heard a Marine say to others, “they call us water-dogs!” I literally shuttered in disbelief that the Marines could possibly have a job that lame.
As some of you may be aware, tomorrow is actually the 1 year anniversary of Terminal Lance. Can you believe that? One year ago I was at my home in Hawaii, up til the wee hours of the morning getting ready to officially launch Terminal Lance. No one knew about it. I remember literally walking around the barracks in KBay, putting up fliers that read, “You Can’t Spell Disgruntled without Grunt” with the site’s URL on it. The following was small at first, not more than a couple hundred hits a day during the first few weeks. I remember when I broke 1000 pageloads in a single day, I thought I was on top of the world! Now, Terminal Lance averages over 100,000 pageloads every day and is ranked in the top 50,000 websites in the US (that’s good). Doing a little bit of Alexa research, I found that Terminal Lance is actually now one of the top military webcomics on the entire internet.
I couldn’t have done it without you all, the readers of Terminal Lance. Whether you were here from the beginning, or you’re just now joining us; let me say from the bottom of my heart:
Thank you for making Terminal Lance what it is today.
