Terminal Lance #289 “Why We Drink”

Marines are synonymous with alcohol, much in the same way your abusive step father is. I’ve brought this up before, but I never really mentioned why we drink so much.

It really just comes down to the Lieutenant.

Everyone below him is drinking because they can’t stand him, and everyone above him is drinking because they can’t stand him. And him? Well he’s just drinking cause why the fuck not? To be honest, I actually had a different third panel in here at first, with a Sergeant Major. The punchline went something like, “I’m drinking because I hate what I’ve become.” That might have been funnier, I don’t know, but I went with this because it’s been a while since I picked on Lieutenants, and they’re getting way too comfortable around here.

To be fair, much like a boot or an 1171 Waterdog, they’re a really easy target to make fun of. Inexperienced, lauded, overpaid and motivated–pick one and you can make a strip out of any of it. Of course, when I talk about the average butterbar I’m certainly not referring to what’s commonly called the mustang–that is, someone that was prior-enlisted and became an officer after the fact. It goes without saying that those Marines typically have their head on straight; even just four years of experience in the enlisted ranks goes a long way. I’ve seen the argument (and even considered it myself before) that all officers should be prior enlisted before being commissioned, and while on one-hand there is a sound logic to it, on the other hand I actually do get why it is the way it is. There’s something to be said about dynamic of the inexperienced, motivated platoon commander leading Marines; it creates a work environment that would feel somehow empty without it.

Then again, maybe we just need something to bitch about.